Well, so much for my noble, romantic plans to "save the world" to "make a different" in local legislation, to "impact 11 other people in the jury room". I simple sat and waited for my name to be called for 8 solid hours! Out of 132 people, there were twenty-seven names that were never called - and mine was one of them. So around 4:00 p.m., they released us all to go home - and because we had not been called, we would not be required to return. I have "done my duty" for the next two years.
So, I have no dramatic story to tell about jury duty. Period.
30 June 2008
25 June 2008
My Day in Court
As I sit here in this comfortable lounge in the Juror Assembly Room (which is actually a suite of almost a dozen different rooms) - air condition, televisions, plush chairs, business amenities, wireless availability, and a snack room - I wonder how different it must have been for potential jurors 50 years ago; even just 25 years ago when I was in high school. In one part of our introduction this morning, it was cited that a juror survey was taken about 4-5 years ago to help the court system better make this a "pleasant" experience for those of us called in to serve.
In my opinion, IF you are even just a decent American, you would be grateful to be able to give back - certainly not to a system that is without its faults, but to a system that is foundational to who we are as a nation. For me, the adventurer at heart, I am thrilled to be able to come inside this sacred assembly room - that, from where I'm sitting, looks more like a hotel lobby with breakfast bar. I am hoping that I will be chosen to sit on a jury and become part of the process that makes our judicial system like none other in the world.
However, fifty years ago, perhaps there was no air conditioning in the high ceiling, formal rooms that would have held potential jurors. There was no television broadcasting "The Golden Girls" or a hand-picked movie (but absolutely NO news of any kind). How exciting to think that I am actually living out a process of justice and balance in my spectacular state.
So stay tune for the continual episode of "Kim in the Jury Room"
In my opinion, IF you are even just a decent American, you would be grateful to be able to give back - certainly not to a system that is without its faults, but to a system that is foundational to who we are as a nation. For me, the adventurer at heart, I am thrilled to be able to come inside this sacred assembly room - that, from where I'm sitting, looks more like a hotel lobby with breakfast bar. I am hoping that I will be chosen to sit on a jury and become part of the process that makes our judicial system like none other in the world.
However, fifty years ago, perhaps there was no air conditioning in the high ceiling, formal rooms that would have held potential jurors. There was no television broadcasting "The Golden Girls" or a hand-picked movie (but absolutely NO news of any kind). How exciting to think that I am actually living out a process of justice and balance in my spectacular state.
So stay tune for the continual episode of "Kim in the Jury Room"
21 June 2008
On Becoming a Grandmother for the First Time
My head is practically spinning from all the "firsts" and "lasts" in my life right now! And, of course, there is the dynamic of the "firsts" and "lasts" that I don't even know about as I write this! There are a few "firsts" that I wish never to experience - if God would for me not to experience them: I've never had a broken bone, I've never been in a car accident (except the kind that happens in your own driveway with another car that you own), and I've never lost a parent. Those are "firsts" that anyone would want to live without!
Between October 19 - 24 of this year, there will be a first taking place in my life unlike any other - as I am hearing from "veteran" grandparents. My oldest daughter, Michelle, is 23 weeks pregnant with her own baby daughter! I remember looking at my daughters when they were younger and wondering what kind of mothers they would be one day. It seemed so far away at the time, but now....well, I can hardly absorb it! I find myself thinking about Christmas and the presence of a little two month old cooing somewhere under the Christmas tree (okay, that was sappy, but really! how cute would that be!) I think of next spring taking her, her mama, and her two proud, excited aunties to stroll down the streets of New York for a few days! I think of having my husband pull out the Jenny Lind crib which all three of our daughters slept in as babies, purchasing a new mattress, and setting up my own "Noni Nursery". I already have a rocking chair, will need a few more things for the nursery (sounds like I am planning on keeping her quite a bit, huh?)
Honestly, though, looking back over the years with my own grandmother, it is not the things that I will be able to give her that will be memorable and powerful in Layna's life- it is the gift of my time and my love: pure and simple. My grandmother took time with me. She took us places, cooked for us, talked with us, met our high school sweethearts, held us when we cried, and oohed and ahhed over every single messy picture we drew her.....she was embedded in my life up to the time she died in 2000.
My Grandma Horrell set the bar high and I choose to follow in her footsteps for my own grandchildren. So, whatever this new "role" in my life holds for me, Noni is ready and willing!! I'm not sure I've ever met this Noni that I'm becoming, but I'm pretty sure that I'll like her and will enjoy watching her grow into her role - almost as much as I watch my daughter grown into her role as a first time mother!
Between October 19 - 24 of this year, there will be a first taking place in my life unlike any other - as I am hearing from "veteran" grandparents. My oldest daughter, Michelle, is 23 weeks pregnant with her own baby daughter! I remember looking at my daughters when they were younger and wondering what kind of mothers they would be one day. It seemed so far away at the time, but now....well, I can hardly absorb it! I find myself thinking about Christmas and the presence of a little two month old cooing somewhere under the Christmas tree (okay, that was sappy, but really! how cute would that be!) I think of next spring taking her, her mama, and her two proud, excited aunties to stroll down the streets of New York for a few days! I think of having my husband pull out the Jenny Lind crib which all three of our daughters slept in as babies, purchasing a new mattress, and setting up my own "Noni Nursery". I already have a rocking chair, will need a few more things for the nursery (sounds like I am planning on keeping her quite a bit, huh?)
Honestly, though, looking back over the years with my own grandmother, it is not the things that I will be able to give her that will be memorable and powerful in Layna's life- it is the gift of my time and my love: pure and simple. My grandmother took time with me. She took us places, cooked for us, talked with us, met our high school sweethearts, held us when we cried, and oohed and ahhed over every single messy picture we drew her.....she was embedded in my life up to the time she died in 2000.
My Grandma Horrell set the bar high and I choose to follow in her footsteps for my own grandchildren. So, whatever this new "role" in my life holds for me, Noni is ready and willing!! I'm not sure I've ever met this Noni that I'm becoming, but I'm pretty sure that I'll like her and will enjoy watching her grow into her role - almost as much as I watch my daughter grown into her role as a first time mother!
13 June 2008
The Last Fifteen of the First 50
In 15 minutes, I will enter a new decade - and not just that, I will begin living the second half of a century! A writer I am, but even despite that, I am finding it very hard to even put into words what I am feeling of this. Part of me just thinks there is way too much emphasis put on numbers. 50 is just a number just as 49 is a number. It's not really a big deal in the scheme of things.
But, realistically, though I do understand that our lives are like a vapor, according to our Heavenly Father, 50 years seems much more like the whole kettle of vapor! I am amazed that God would allow me 50 years on this sin-riddled, but still extraordinarily incredible earth! For almost 27 of these years, I have been married to one of the most amazing men to ever be born. I have mothered 3 breathtakingly beautiful and fantastic daughters - been able to watch them all grow up and graduate from high school (the last one graduated exactly 2 weeks ago). My oldest daughter has married a wonderful young man and in four short months, they will bless me with my first grandchild.
I'm thinking that me turning 50 really is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me! The experiences I have had, the life I have lived, the blessings I have enjoyed, the pain and heartache that has strengthened me to my core like nothing else....all these things take time. But time and the use of the time given us is what ultimately defines us and what we will live behind one day.
8 minutes to go and I just have to say that I absolutely LOVED the 40's. You've all read those emails about each decade and the things that we learn through each of them. I will have to vouch to the validity of them - at least to the 5th decade. While we are young and seemingly invincible going into our second decade, we really know absolutely nothing about life. I would never want to live the 20's over again, except to replay my wedding and holding my two daughters that were born when I was 25 and 28. The 30's is a decade of revelation, exploration, and a heap of mistakes. When we are in our thirties, we start to think that we know so much about life and have lived enough that we start looking at those younger than us and assume that we can guide them along the way. We become confident in life - but then those kids that we had in our second decade start to get older and then we find out that we don't really know anything at all.
My opinion is that being the parent of a teenager is the antidote to the cocky, falsely confident years of our 30's. We enter our 40's with a hint of nostalgia, the big hoopla of friends, and the realization that time is quickly moving on. But within that 10 year span of time, live really is lived and a philosophy of love, commitment, and purpose is grooved into our souls.
In 2 minutes I will turn 50. But inside, I do not feel the numbers - I feel the experience of living. My spirit is still young and I would imagine, always will be! I, frankly, am not afraid of this turning of the tide!
IT'S HERE! I made it - and I want so to thank my Creator for the blessings and the life lessons that has brought me this far. I am absolutely ecstatic about this next decade! Bring it on! I am ready! For I know the ONE who is already there......
HAPPY 50TH, Me!!!!
But, realistically, though I do understand that our lives are like a vapor, according to our Heavenly Father, 50 years seems much more like the whole kettle of vapor! I am amazed that God would allow me 50 years on this sin-riddled, but still extraordinarily incredible earth! For almost 27 of these years, I have been married to one of the most amazing men to ever be born. I have mothered 3 breathtakingly beautiful and fantastic daughters - been able to watch them all grow up and graduate from high school (the last one graduated exactly 2 weeks ago). My oldest daughter has married a wonderful young man and in four short months, they will bless me with my first grandchild.
I'm thinking that me turning 50 really is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me! The experiences I have had, the life I have lived, the blessings I have enjoyed, the pain and heartache that has strengthened me to my core like nothing else....all these things take time. But time and the use of the time given us is what ultimately defines us and what we will live behind one day.
8 minutes to go and I just have to say that I absolutely LOVED the 40's. You've all read those emails about each decade and the things that we learn through each of them. I will have to vouch to the validity of them - at least to the 5th decade. While we are young and seemingly invincible going into our second decade, we really know absolutely nothing about life. I would never want to live the 20's over again, except to replay my wedding and holding my two daughters that were born when I was 25 and 28. The 30's is a decade of revelation, exploration, and a heap of mistakes. When we are in our thirties, we start to think that we know so much about life and have lived enough that we start looking at those younger than us and assume that we can guide them along the way. We become confident in life - but then those kids that we had in our second decade start to get older and then we find out that we don't really know anything at all.
My opinion is that being the parent of a teenager is the antidote to the cocky, falsely confident years of our 30's. We enter our 40's with a hint of nostalgia, the big hoopla of friends, and the realization that time is quickly moving on. But within that 10 year span of time, live really is lived and a philosophy of love, commitment, and purpose is grooved into our souls.
In 2 minutes I will turn 50. But inside, I do not feel the numbers - I feel the experience of living. My spirit is still young and I would imagine, always will be! I, frankly, am not afraid of this turning of the tide!
IT'S HERE! I made it - and I want so to thank my Creator for the blessings and the life lessons that has brought me this far. I am absolutely ecstatic about this next decade! Bring it on! I am ready! For I know the ONE who is already there......
HAPPY 50TH, Me!!!!
06 June 2008
First Phase Completely Finished
For a couple of months now, I have been wanting to write about these huge changes that are taking place in my life. Either because of a lack of words, no motivation, feeling completely overwhelmed and emotional, or all of the above, it has not happened. Lauren's senior year went by without scarcely a word being penned. It felt to me if I would have tried that they would have seemed morbid, familiar, boring, and redundant after a while. So, I opted for none at all.
Exactly a week after my youngest one graduated from high school, I find myself still extremely weary and even a little numb from it all. How are you supposed to feel when your child-rearing days are completely over? When you drive on campus the day after her last day at school and you realize you are looking for her car - wondering if she was late for her class? Then you realize....no, you will never need to wonder that again. You will never see her car parked in that familiar spot again. You will never pay another sports fee, you will never go to another soccer game anticipating the "game of her life" (and in your eyes, every one of them - are). You will never have to hear about the drama of high school friendships and "first loves" gone bad. You will never send a check to the cafeteria to pay her lunch bill or send a teacher a note again explaining about a sickness that has kept her away from school. You will never wash school uniforms or move a scattered backpack containing the mysteries of Human Anatomy or Romeo and Juliet.
Those days are gone forever. Never can you regain them. Never can you recall them to do them over, to try a little harder or spend a little more time talking in the car as you take your junior higher to school. It's done - and how you did it and with what attitude you did it - is gone with the turning of the tassle. The tassle turned from the right to the left seems a simple act, but with it comes the shifting of responsibility, accountability, and accessibility.
When I watched her hand touch the tassle and innocently (and excitedly) turn it to the left, I felt my own shifting of a sorts. A shifting away from motherhood as I had known it. The proactive, passionate mother who hardly ever missed a ballgame and attended every single performance of the school play. A mother who brought to school the lunch she had left in the frig or the guitar she needed for practice. The mother who went home to retrieve the camera for the capturing of precious memories and ran to the store to pick up the class party snacks. The maddening mother who called and emailed teachers and coaches when she did not feel her child had gotten her "just deserves". I was that kind of mother and I have absolutely no regrets.
I have a friend who has only one child and I thought of her often as she experienced complete menagerie of emotions her daughter's senior year. It was both her first and last of everything having to do with high school - all in one short, emotional year. I, at least, had already experienced the first child doing this exact thing six years ago. This oldest daughter is now married and only a few months away from experiencing motherhood for the first time. So, I know and have pleasantly experienced that there is definitely life after the high school years. Good years - different, true - but good all the same.
The innocence of childhood long gone, the graduated, young women in my life are discovering so much about themselves, about their father and me, and about life. And I'm liking that I am there to enjoy it.
So, first phase finished. Memories galores - absolutely no regrets! Onward to the second phase! I have a feeling it will be the absolute best...just as the first was!
Exactly a week after my youngest one graduated from high school, I find myself still extremely weary and even a little numb from it all. How are you supposed to feel when your child-rearing days are completely over? When you drive on campus the day after her last day at school and you realize you are looking for her car - wondering if she was late for her class? Then you realize....no, you will never need to wonder that again. You will never see her car parked in that familiar spot again. You will never pay another sports fee, you will never go to another soccer game anticipating the "game of her life" (and in your eyes, every one of them - are). You will never have to hear about the drama of high school friendships and "first loves" gone bad. You will never send a check to the cafeteria to pay her lunch bill or send a teacher a note again explaining about a sickness that has kept her away from school. You will never wash school uniforms or move a scattered backpack containing the mysteries of Human Anatomy or Romeo and Juliet.
Those days are gone forever. Never can you regain them. Never can you recall them to do them over, to try a little harder or spend a little more time talking in the car as you take your junior higher to school. It's done - and how you did it and with what attitude you did it - is gone with the turning of the tassle. The tassle turned from the right to the left seems a simple act, but with it comes the shifting of responsibility, accountability, and accessibility.
When I watched her hand touch the tassle and innocently (and excitedly) turn it to the left, I felt my own shifting of a sorts. A shifting away from motherhood as I had known it. The proactive, passionate mother who hardly ever missed a ballgame and attended every single performance of the school play. A mother who brought to school the lunch she had left in the frig or the guitar she needed for practice. The mother who went home to retrieve the camera for the capturing of precious memories and ran to the store to pick up the class party snacks. The maddening mother who called and emailed teachers and coaches when she did not feel her child had gotten her "just deserves". I was that kind of mother and I have absolutely no regrets.
I have a friend who has only one child and I thought of her often as she experienced complete menagerie of emotions her daughter's senior year. It was both her first and last of everything having to do with high school - all in one short, emotional year. I, at least, had already experienced the first child doing this exact thing six years ago. This oldest daughter is now married and only a few months away from experiencing motherhood for the first time. So, I know and have pleasantly experienced that there is definitely life after the high school years. Good years - different, true - but good all the same.
The innocence of childhood long gone, the graduated, young women in my life are discovering so much about themselves, about their father and me, and about life. And I'm liking that I am there to enjoy it.
So, first phase finished. Memories galores - absolutely no regrets! Onward to the second phase! I have a feeling it will be the absolute best...just as the first was!
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