In 15 minutes, I will enter a new decade - and not just that, I will begin living the second half of a century! A writer I am, but even despite that, I am finding it very hard to even put into words what I am feeling of this. Part of me just thinks there is way too much emphasis put on numbers. 50 is just a number just as 49 is a number. It's not really a big deal in the scheme of things.
But, realistically, though I do understand that our lives are like a vapor, according to our Heavenly Father, 50 years seems much more like the whole kettle of vapor! I am amazed that God would allow me 50 years on this sin-riddled, but still extraordinarily incredible earth! For almost 27 of these years, I have been married to one of the most amazing men to ever be born. I have mothered 3 breathtakingly beautiful and fantastic daughters - been able to watch them all grow up and graduate from high school (the last one graduated exactly 2 weeks ago). My oldest daughter has married a wonderful young man and in four short months, they will bless me with my first grandchild.
I'm thinking that me turning 50 really is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me! The experiences I have had, the life I have lived, the blessings I have enjoyed, the pain and heartache that has strengthened me to my core like nothing else....all these things take time. But time and the use of the time given us is what ultimately defines us and what we will live behind one day.
8 minutes to go and I just have to say that I absolutely LOVED the 40's. You've all read those emails about each decade and the things that we learn through each of them. I will have to vouch to the validity of them - at least to the 5th decade. While we are young and seemingly invincible going into our second decade, we really know absolutely nothing about life. I would never want to live the 20's over again, except to replay my wedding and holding my two daughters that were born when I was 25 and 28. The 30's is a decade of revelation, exploration, and a heap of mistakes. When we are in our thirties, we start to think that we know so much about life and have lived enough that we start looking at those younger than us and assume that we can guide them along the way. We become confident in life - but then those kids that we had in our second decade start to get older and then we find out that we don't really know anything at all.
My opinion is that being the parent of a teenager is the antidote to the cocky, falsely confident years of our 30's. We enter our 40's with a hint of nostalgia, the big hoopla of friends, and the realization that time is quickly moving on. But within that 10 year span of time, live really is lived and a philosophy of love, commitment, and purpose is grooved into our souls.
In 2 minutes I will turn 50. But inside, I do not feel the numbers - I feel the experience of living. My spirit is still young and I would imagine, always will be! I, frankly, am not afraid of this turning of the tide!
IT'S HERE! I made it - and I want so to thank my Creator for the blessings and the life lessons that has brought me this far. I am absolutely ecstatic about this next decade! Bring it on! I am ready! For I know the ONE who is already there......
HAPPY 50TH, Me!!!!
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