Too Tired to Tilt Over??

The numbness that comes with fatigue is actually not a bad thing sometimes. I'm learning that. After a "mountaintop" experience this weekend at a Ladies' retreat in Virginia, I have come home to the realities of my life and all the expectations of me! It must be exactly how Elijah felt after the Mount Carmel experience. He was completely drained, so he tucked his tail, and hid. While in his solitude, his fatigued brain starting playing tricks on him. He felt all alone in his fight to save the world, and it just didn't feel right to him anymore. Jonah had much the same reaction after running from God and then finally doing what he was supposed to do in Nineveh. Afterwards, he just wanted to die.

So, with those two wonderful examples in front of me, I am trying to analyze all my feelings today. I have come home to my wonderful family which involves dishes, laundry, dirty floors, and cooking. There's another major drama going on in one aspect of our ministry (this is not an unusual thing -- it's almost constant!), and another girl who stood me up last week for discipleship now wants to meet again......today, right away! One of my parent's closest friends (he's been like a daddy to me) is in the hospital very sick with his heart.

That's what I mean about being too tired to tilt over. All this is going on and I feel like I'm looking at it all in slow motion. The only thing that seems important to me right now is a nap. Then I struggle with guilt about all this other stuff going on. Then I remember that feeling guilty about doing anything but work is an indicator of an stress-proned person, and I remember that I do have those capabilities of being controlled by stress, which in realizing that stresses me more.

I think I will just lie down and sleep...........and wait for the ravens come and feed me. :)