Even the world, the media, and organizations who say they exist to protect kids have seen the light. Advertisements are splatted all over the tv screen lately about how to talk to your kids about drugs, how to spend time with your kids to deter drug use, and how to detect the signs of drug use.
My oldest daughter is 23, the middle daughter is 20, and our youngest is 16. With all of them, we raised them in the belief that if they had a life packed full of good stuff, it would leave them less time to plunder into the bad stuff. Though I admire those parents who place an extremely high value on academics above all else, that would not have flown with my girls. Average students in the book, they are well-adjusted, well-rounded, and social creatures that love variety in their life. Such is the way with missionary kids. Once one, they could never be satisfied either to stay in one place very long or be stuck in one mode of activity for an extended period of time.
Fine arts, sports, community service, working to pay car insurance (yes, we are one of those "mean" parents), spending time with friends (that were instinctively judged a positive influence by my motherly gifts of "just knowing"), and allowing them to slowly, but surely spread their wings and broaden their horizons. Call us proactive parents and we accept that classification without apology.
Despite the world's philosophy and conjecture that kids have sense and perception about life beyond what their parent's realize (i.e. any Disney show or other family-oriented program that portrays the parent's role as an idiot, unsure of his role - and raises the intelligence and control of the child to spectacularly dangerous proportions). I despise those programs, but they have permeated not only our airways, but into our homes. Everyday I watch as parents of even extremely small children give their sacred duty and calling away to an biologically immature, egocentric child that simply is not ready to make rash, consistent decisions on their own behalf.
It is God-ordained that we purposely teach our children right from wrong and take our proper place in the forefront of their lives. I don't have time here to go through the issues that arise as a child grows older and more adamant about what he/she wants. Giving them freedom comes along with the package of teaching them to be discerning, accountable, and committed to follow God's Word.
Our daughters haven't always wanted to follow our lead, but let's just say that I was way too stubborn to give it up prematurely. Sometimes we won't be popular with them, sometimes we feel that we are being misunderstood, but time is a healer.....and so it is in this world of raising children. Inside the world of rules and limits is a security not found for a child anywhere else in this world. If you don't believe me, look around at the messed up children and dip your head into their world. Most likely, I will bank that you will find no perimeters and no respect for parents that are either too busy, too unwilling to put up the "good" fight, and desiring only that they be their children's friend. A lethal combination.
When kids do drugs, it is basically for one of two reasons and the second one stands throughout. Peer pressure pushes kids into volatile situations, doing things they would never have thought possible. But the premier reason is unfulfillment in who they are. Simply put, parents, we are not doing our job into teaching them, loving them, laughing with them, spending time with them enough to help them develop into the people God created them to be. Money, things, cars, fancy clothes, and such are NOT a substitute for a drive on a country road, hot chocolate by the fireplace, a listening ear when they are scared or just experiencing some of the shallow, but important (to them) situations of childhood. Time. Spending time. Listening. Teaching them responsibility and a pride in a job well done. Telling them they are worth something, showing them how to prove it to society. Teaching them that it's not all about them, but that giving to others is the essence of real joy.
It's our privilege as parents to walk with our children through this thing called life -- and then one day, when it's time and they are really ready, watch them flap those wings and fly! It's an invigorating, bittersweet time, but it's exactly right. But until then, talk....laugh.....play.....love them!
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