I remember my parents and grandparents saying that time seemed to pass more quickly the older you got. As a young chick at the time, I didn't even pay that statement much mind, except to think that it was sad they were all getting older. Now, I AM my parents and grandparents, look like them, hobble like them, feel stiff like them, ache like them, and reminisce like them. I could not tell you why it has been five months since I last wrote in this blog, but life just has a way of catching up with you.
I was sick of all the election stuff, Christmas was coming, and after that, my husband and I took a cruise to celebrate 25 years of marriage. Being a missionary on a college campus, getting into the lives of many students, being a woman, wife, mom, daughter, and trying to be a good friend, aunt, cousin, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and writer......well, all that jazz just takes at least 30 hours a day.
This weekend I have had the privilege of spending some rip-roaring, laid-back, open and honest time with two very good friends in the mountains. That always makes me reflective and thankful.
Who has been important to you and what has your past five months been filled with?
05 May 2007
01 November 2006
Out of the Mouth Comes the Issues of the Heart
It's surreal to think that John Kerry has "sort of" stepped back into the arena of politics -- and what a great job he did in showing the venomous thoughts and attitudes that are in his heart for the Republicans recently. Now, whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, if you really listened to his speech, his rebuttals, his comments to his accusers, you SHOULD BE worried about someone like that leading our country. The anger he carries is disconcerting.
There probably isn't any one person who approves or agrees with everything that President Bush has done or said in the past six years; however, he's out there, putting himself on the line for our country in more ways than we can imagine. He's a pro-active president, making decisions and acting on them - whether we think them right or wrong, I don't see him spending a whole lot of his time blasting those who oppose him. It has been done, it's true; but it's not his main or even secondary agenda.
Our country is in a mess, politically, religiously, ethically, morally, and financially. That's a given. Did one man take it to its present condition? Absolutely not. It's the way of the world, it's the descent of mankind falling into the depravity we were born in. It's human nature at its worse. And, according to my Bible, it's not going to get much better. For the record, I do believe that there is MUCH we can do to encourage and improve the condition of our country, but ranting and raving does nothing but produce more ranting and raving. Where is the compassion, the purposeful and analytical solutions to some of our problems? Does no one have any?
I have read blog after blog and heard comment after comment about Bush -- good Christians criticizing our President in public (I consider the internet public) with vehemence and vigor. Might I remind them of what the book of Romans says about giving respect to public authority? Perhaps they interpret those verses in a different way. I don't. They are pretty clear cut verses. What are we teaching the next generation to do?
When Bill Clinton was in office, the hoopla was almost the same. The very ones that derailed Clinton for some of his unbelievable shenanigans are doing the same to Bush now. It's true. Think about it. There are those who believe they are God's gift to us by using their power of verbiage to sting, entertain, enlighten, and charge our leaders in front of a pack of panting extremists (left or right).
That's exactly the attitude I saw in the Clinton-Wallace interview when Clinton threw his missiles of the heart out for the world to see, and just a couple of days ago when Kerry made his "stuck in Iraq" statement.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,226584,00.html
Out of our mouths will come what we are really like deep down in our heart -- IF we talk long enough, loud enough, and continue to feed off an audience of likeminded codgers.
I'm sick of it all -- on both sides!
There probably isn't any one person who approves or agrees with everything that President Bush has done or said in the past six years; however, he's out there, putting himself on the line for our country in more ways than we can imagine. He's a pro-active president, making decisions and acting on them - whether we think them right or wrong, I don't see him spending a whole lot of his time blasting those who oppose him. It has been done, it's true; but it's not his main or even secondary agenda.
Our country is in a mess, politically, religiously, ethically, morally, and financially. That's a given. Did one man take it to its present condition? Absolutely not. It's the way of the world, it's the descent of mankind falling into the depravity we were born in. It's human nature at its worse. And, according to my Bible, it's not going to get much better. For the record, I do believe that there is MUCH we can do to encourage and improve the condition of our country, but ranting and raving does nothing but produce more ranting and raving. Where is the compassion, the purposeful and analytical solutions to some of our problems? Does no one have any?
I have read blog after blog and heard comment after comment about Bush -- good Christians criticizing our President in public (I consider the internet public) with vehemence and vigor. Might I remind them of what the book of Romans says about giving respect to public authority? Perhaps they interpret those verses in a different way. I don't. They are pretty clear cut verses. What are we teaching the next generation to do?
When Bill Clinton was in office, the hoopla was almost the same. The very ones that derailed Clinton for some of his unbelievable shenanigans are doing the same to Bush now. It's true. Think about it. There are those who believe they are God's gift to us by using their power of verbiage to sting, entertain, enlighten, and charge our leaders in front of a pack of panting extremists (left or right).
That's exactly the attitude I saw in the Clinton-Wallace interview when Clinton threw his missiles of the heart out for the world to see, and just a couple of days ago when Kerry made his "stuck in Iraq" statement.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,226584,00.html
Out of our mouths will come what we are really like deep down in our heart -- IF we talk long enough, loud enough, and continue to feed off an audience of likeminded codgers.
I'm sick of it all -- on both sides!
28 October 2006
Tidbits on a Windy Saturday Morning
I should be on a cruise ship today winding my way through the southern Caribbean away from the Panama Canal and towards Cozumel. But, instead, I am sitting in my favorite chair talking to a computer while the wind blows the wet leaves around in the yard. We had been planning this cruise for almost a year to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. I just wanted to cruise; I told Jeff he could pick the place. (He chose a Panama Canal route)
Anyone we know who has done much cruising has said that they had never heard of it happening before, but it did to us. Four days before we were to sail, a travel agency called us, explaining that our cruise had been overbooked and they were looking for a few people to change their cruise date in exchange for a "sweet" package offered by the cruise line. We were originally booked in a small stateroom (category BE) and they wanted to move us up to a mini-suite with a balcony (category AA) PLUS give us $1500 on-board credit (of which if there was a remaining amount at the end of the cruise, they would refund as cash).
This sounded too good to be true, so we called back through directly to the cruise line to ask them to validate this offer. They, in turn, connected us back to this same travel agency, who gave us the same offer again. The only catch was that we would have to sail between December 10th and April 10th.
As much as instant gratification is tempting, I knew that we could not possibly go in December. I already have a syndrome (yet unnamed by the medical world) about living out Christmas in this American society. After many years of quiet, uncomplicated, simple Christmases in West Africa, the appeal of the lights, advertisements, endless scheduling of events, and the pressure of finding just the right gift -- well, just doesn't appeal to me. After four years of living back in America, I am actually able to find some joy and sanity in this season by making my own rules -- not living under the traditional ones that makes sure that every ounce of joy and energy is taken away from you by the time December 25th gets here. (DO NOT make the wrong assumption that I hate Christmas. I do not. It is a special, significant time of year. But our society has stretched it so out of proportion and I have chosen not to celebrate in that way - but that will be for another blog later on)
Back to my cruising story. Because of the nature of our work/ministry, finding another date that would work would be tedious at best. But, we did find a window of opportunity in the middle of January. Now, how about that? The holidays will be past, our stint in a very demanding, extra ministry will have ended a week earlier, and there are no leaves to watch change in vivid colors right before our eyes - it's the dead of winter! And we'll be on a cruise ship, in a mini-suite with $1500 that we would not have had otherwise.....
Oh yeah, I can sit here with contentment today and watch the burnished leaves on the maples in my backyard and feel the cool breezes of fall succumbing to the brisk wind of winter waiting his turn. But when ol' man winter enters with a vengenance, I'll don my bathing suit and shorts, and head for the gangplank!
************************************************************************************
Another thought that comforts me as I (mistakenly) look around this room is to know that there will be no washing machines in heaven! I just don't know why keeping up with clothes should be such a daunting task. Perhaps it's because there are still two teenagers GIRLS living in this house. Everywhere I turn there are either piles of unfolded clothes, folded clothes that no one wants to claim enough to take to her room, or dirty clothes strewed over the small laundry room floor. Sometimes it's enough to make me want to live in the buff.......well, I'm kidding, of course, but it's just that moment of insanity that comes when things feel out of control.
So, enough tidbits this morning. Time to pronounce war on the cotton/rayon/spandex/nylon world that surrounds me!
Happy fall, ya'll!!
Anyone we know who has done much cruising has said that they had never heard of it happening before, but it did to us. Four days before we were to sail, a travel agency called us, explaining that our cruise had been overbooked and they were looking for a few people to change their cruise date in exchange for a "sweet" package offered by the cruise line. We were originally booked in a small stateroom (category BE) and they wanted to move us up to a mini-suite with a balcony (category AA) PLUS give us $1500 on-board credit (of which if there was a remaining amount at the end of the cruise, they would refund as cash).
This sounded too good to be true, so we called back through directly to the cruise line to ask them to validate this offer. They, in turn, connected us back to this same travel agency, who gave us the same offer again. The only catch was that we would have to sail between December 10th and April 10th.
As much as instant gratification is tempting, I knew that we could not possibly go in December. I already have a syndrome (yet unnamed by the medical world) about living out Christmas in this American society. After many years of quiet, uncomplicated, simple Christmases in West Africa, the appeal of the lights, advertisements, endless scheduling of events, and the pressure of finding just the right gift -- well, just doesn't appeal to me. After four years of living back in America, I am actually able to find some joy and sanity in this season by making my own rules -- not living under the traditional ones that makes sure that every ounce of joy and energy is taken away from you by the time December 25th gets here. (DO NOT make the wrong assumption that I hate Christmas. I do not. It is a special, significant time of year. But our society has stretched it so out of proportion and I have chosen not to celebrate in that way - but that will be for another blog later on)
Back to my cruising story. Because of the nature of our work/ministry, finding another date that would work would be tedious at best. But, we did find a window of opportunity in the middle of January. Now, how about that? The holidays will be past, our stint in a very demanding, extra ministry will have ended a week earlier, and there are no leaves to watch change in vivid colors right before our eyes - it's the dead of winter! And we'll be on a cruise ship, in a mini-suite with $1500 that we would not have had otherwise.....
Oh yeah, I can sit here with contentment today and watch the burnished leaves on the maples in my backyard and feel the cool breezes of fall succumbing to the brisk wind of winter waiting his turn. But when ol' man winter enters with a vengenance, I'll don my bathing suit and shorts, and head for the gangplank!
************************************************************************************
Another thought that comforts me as I (mistakenly) look around this room is to know that there will be no washing machines in heaven! I just don't know why keeping up with clothes should be such a daunting task. Perhaps it's because there are still two teenagers GIRLS living in this house. Everywhere I turn there are either piles of unfolded clothes, folded clothes that no one wants to claim enough to take to her room, or dirty clothes strewed over the small laundry room floor. Sometimes it's enough to make me want to live in the buff.......well, I'm kidding, of course, but it's just that moment of insanity that comes when things feel out of control.
So, enough tidbits this morning. Time to pronounce war on the cotton/rayon/spandex/nylon world that surrounds me!
Happy fall, ya'll!!
03 October 2006
Life Behind Our Inner Eyelids
After years of counseling and dealing with people of all ages, all walks of life, and in all kinds of situations, I have methodically come to a very poignant conclusion. Actually I had never put into words what in my "gut" I knew; someone else did it for me.
As I was coming home for my daughter's volleyball game last week, I was doing a scan through radio channels. I stopped the scan as I heard the word depression. It was a voice that I had heard way back in the past (okay, so I'm older than I think I am). Back in my Bible college and early missionary years, we were often presented with the basic and foundational preaching of Dr. Lehman Strauss. It has been years since I have heard his name or thought about his penetrating preaching of God's word. The message that I was able to listen to the other night was as timely as any I have ever heard on the subject of "depression".
Hear me loud and clear. I am clinical enough in my perceptions to realize, accept, and concur that some depressive behavior can be caused by chemical imbalances in a person's body left unchecked. I have seen that firsthand in Africa working with war victims, in my own family as we dealt with the long-term illness and subsequent death of my brother, and with others close to me that have dealt with sudden or latent reality of trauma or a life out of control. In effect, depression can be a result of the body's response to life as it is dealt to us. Chemically-induced or self-induced, the results are the same. Though I am not inclined to say that depression, in its purist form, is a disease; I do believe there are underlying physical and psychological results that can lock themselves into the body in a disease-like fashion.
I am no doctor nor ascribed psychologist, at least not with a piece of paper hanging on the wall. I will classify that right now, so there is no recognition, medical journal, or academic credit waiting at the end of this spill. It is simply out of my gift of discernment, God-given perception about people, about life, and about how God's power must play in the midst of all that I desire to say these things out loud.
I am just flatout concerned for Christians who are caught up in the clinical diagnoses of depression without giving not one whit of concern to the spiritual aspect (which is more our own responsibility). We have played into the hands of this societal way of thinking that our problems are someone else's fault. As Christians, this is not a biblical nor healthy outlook.
When we live our lives for "us" and only "us", we are men or women most miserable. When we concentrate on what comes our way or doesn't come our way, how people treat us or how they mistreat us, how we are understood or misunderstood, how life sends us rain or sunshine, and how we deserve so much more than is on our plate at a given moment -- it is a debilitating exercise that will naturally bring on depressive symptoms. Just this week I have counseled two twenty-something young women churning inside this kind of mindset right now. One is having trouble sleeping at night, cannot ever rest her mind or spirit, is precariously thin, and feels she has lost connection with her family in some sense. She has needed the encouragement from her parents, but because of their own intrinsic struggles, they have not been able to give any of this support to her.
So, this young lady is stuck in this vacuum of "self" - churning around in her heart, head, and soul, the inclination that she cannot control any part of her life because she does not have what she needs from others. While she has an outstanding philosophical knowledge of God and His Word, her personal relationship based on faith and grace is stilted and ineffective at this point.
The other young woman has been hit with the same thing. Her family base is far away, so she has thrown the dice of her heart and well-being into the hands of friends in this city. When she faced an incredibly difficult family situation that shook her to her very core, instead of concentrating on God's grace, mercy, and power, she concentrated on what she was NOT receiving from her friends. After dwelling on this for quite some time, she made the blunt, but not unpredictable decision to break off all ties and find new friends, a new support base.
Perhaps there is a time and place for that kind of action, but it is not the ultimate answer to any problem in life. The clear and harsh fact is that people will disappoint us, even those who are joined to us at the hip, so to speak. If who we are is all about how others treat us, what they say to us, what they do for us, how they hold us up and encourage us......then we are in serious trouble. Lehman Strauss, in his sermon on depression and the Christian, spoke of the self-centered nature of many depressed Christians, and how it is difficult to see past how life/others have treated them. He, too, had counseled numerous Christians who had succumbed to the belief that life had dealt unfairly with them. Anytime we dwell on the fair vs. the unfair, we will lose the reasoning battle. It is a dangerous and defeating place to dwell.
Both of these young women are experiencing varying degrees of depression. Instinctively, I do not believe that either of them are chemically imbalanced. Yes, the correct diet can help some, exercise can always help, and perhaps taking herbs and vitamins can diminish some of the symptoms of depression.
But, ultimately, we have to face up to the reality that there is no one on this earth who is completely responsible for us. However, there is hope. God paid the price through the giving of His Son to the death of the cross more than 2000 years ago to prove that He, and He alone, is willing and totally able to take responsibility of us: body, soul, and spirit.
In essence, the penalty of living an "all about me" life is constant pain, loneliness, and disillusionment with those around us. When we refocus our eyes on God, our Heavenly Father, and His desire to make us complete through His Son (Colossians 1:18), it is a step in the right direction. Focusing extrinsically on others is a healing balm like none other. Dwelling on the amazing beauty found in this earth is like fresh, cool water to a dry throat. Looking outward and upward is the key to stepping out of the pothole of disenchantment with life as we see it from our inner eyelids.
Let's open our eyes and step into the Light.
As I was coming home for my daughter's volleyball game last week, I was doing a scan through radio channels. I stopped the scan as I heard the word depression. It was a voice that I had heard way back in the past (okay, so I'm older than I think I am). Back in my Bible college and early missionary years, we were often presented with the basic and foundational preaching of Dr. Lehman Strauss. It has been years since I have heard his name or thought about his penetrating preaching of God's word. The message that I was able to listen to the other night was as timely as any I have ever heard on the subject of "depression".
Hear me loud and clear. I am clinical enough in my perceptions to realize, accept, and concur that some depressive behavior can be caused by chemical imbalances in a person's body left unchecked. I have seen that firsthand in Africa working with war victims, in my own family as we dealt with the long-term illness and subsequent death of my brother, and with others close to me that have dealt with sudden or latent reality of trauma or a life out of control. In effect, depression can be a result of the body's response to life as it is dealt to us. Chemically-induced or self-induced, the results are the same. Though I am not inclined to say that depression, in its purist form, is a disease; I do believe there are underlying physical and psychological results that can lock themselves into the body in a disease-like fashion.
I am no doctor nor ascribed psychologist, at least not with a piece of paper hanging on the wall. I will classify that right now, so there is no recognition, medical journal, or academic credit waiting at the end of this spill. It is simply out of my gift of discernment, God-given perception about people, about life, and about how God's power must play in the midst of all that I desire to say these things out loud.
I am just flatout concerned for Christians who are caught up in the clinical diagnoses of depression without giving not one whit of concern to the spiritual aspect (which is more our own responsibility). We have played into the hands of this societal way of thinking that our problems are someone else's fault. As Christians, this is not a biblical nor healthy outlook.
When we live our lives for "us" and only "us", we are men or women most miserable. When we concentrate on what comes our way or doesn't come our way, how people treat us or how they mistreat us, how we are understood or misunderstood, how life sends us rain or sunshine, and how we deserve so much more than is on our plate at a given moment -- it is a debilitating exercise that will naturally bring on depressive symptoms. Just this week I have counseled two twenty-something young women churning inside this kind of mindset right now. One is having trouble sleeping at night, cannot ever rest her mind or spirit, is precariously thin, and feels she has lost connection with her family in some sense. She has needed the encouragement from her parents, but because of their own intrinsic struggles, they have not been able to give any of this support to her.
So, this young lady is stuck in this vacuum of "self" - churning around in her heart, head, and soul, the inclination that she cannot control any part of her life because she does not have what she needs from others. While she has an outstanding philosophical knowledge of God and His Word, her personal relationship based on faith and grace is stilted and ineffective at this point.
The other young woman has been hit with the same thing. Her family base is far away, so she has thrown the dice of her heart and well-being into the hands of friends in this city. When she faced an incredibly difficult family situation that shook her to her very core, instead of concentrating on God's grace, mercy, and power, she concentrated on what she was NOT receiving from her friends. After dwelling on this for quite some time, she made the blunt, but not unpredictable decision to break off all ties and find new friends, a new support base.
Perhaps there is a time and place for that kind of action, but it is not the ultimate answer to any problem in life. The clear and harsh fact is that people will disappoint us, even those who are joined to us at the hip, so to speak. If who we are is all about how others treat us, what they say to us, what they do for us, how they hold us up and encourage us......then we are in serious trouble. Lehman Strauss, in his sermon on depression and the Christian, spoke of the self-centered nature of many depressed Christians, and how it is difficult to see past how life/others have treated them. He, too, had counseled numerous Christians who had succumbed to the belief that life had dealt unfairly with them. Anytime we dwell on the fair vs. the unfair, we will lose the reasoning battle. It is a dangerous and defeating place to dwell.
Both of these young women are experiencing varying degrees of depression. Instinctively, I do not believe that either of them are chemically imbalanced. Yes, the correct diet can help some, exercise can always help, and perhaps taking herbs and vitamins can diminish some of the symptoms of depression.
But, ultimately, we have to face up to the reality that there is no one on this earth who is completely responsible for us. However, there is hope. God paid the price through the giving of His Son to the death of the cross more than 2000 years ago to prove that He, and He alone, is willing and totally able to take responsibility of us: body, soul, and spirit.
In essence, the penalty of living an "all about me" life is constant pain, loneliness, and disillusionment with those around us. When we refocus our eyes on God, our Heavenly Father, and His desire to make us complete through His Son (Colossians 1:18), it is a step in the right direction. Focusing extrinsically on others is a healing balm like none other. Dwelling on the amazing beauty found in this earth is like fresh, cool water to a dry throat. Looking outward and upward is the key to stepping out of the pothole of disenchantment with life as we see it from our inner eyelids.
Let's open our eyes and step into the Light.
26 September 2006
Taxation Without Documentation
We own a boat - a nice 18 foot boat. At least that is what our city-county tax office is telling us.
Last week we received an official letter from the tax office that we needed to pay the taxes on the boat that we purchases this year. Now, we don't like taxes anymore than anyone else, but we do pay what we owe. However, it's a little more difficult to get excited about paying the taxes on a boat that we DO NOT own; a boat that we will never ride in.
The letter came to our correct home address with Jeff's name on the envelope. When Jeff called the tax office yesterday, they simply told us that the NC Wildlife department had informed them that we had registered a boat. Hm.....So, we called the Wildlife department and talked with Lisa. She pulled up all the boat owners with my husband's name in NC. There were three in the entire state, but only one other (besides my Jeff) in the city where we make our home. As we already knew, it was NOT our address.
We called the tax department back and since then have gotten the familiar bureaucratic run around about this matter. It's a good thing that the employees in this tax office do not actually run for their offices. The one we were dealing with would be out on her head!
As condescendingly simple as she could be, she told Jeff that she realized no one likes to pay taxes, but if you buy a boat you have to be willing to pay the taxes on it. There was no need for him to make an issue about this, she crooned. When Jeff pressed the issue about NOT owning the boat, she put her hard, professional voice back on and referred him to her supervisor, which has alluded our calls so far.
I'm thinking that someone made a mistake and is not willing to own up to it for one reason or another. It's simply ridiculous. There are no documents in existence anywhere that will connect us with the ownership of a boat. But it looks like there will be much energy expended on proving this to an office that already has all the records to prove this. They have the other man's name, address, see the differences in my husband's driver's license number and the real boat owner's, but it's still not clicking with them.
Is this the kind of frustration that started the Boston Tea Party?
Last week we received an official letter from the tax office that we needed to pay the taxes on the boat that we purchases this year. Now, we don't like taxes anymore than anyone else, but we do pay what we owe. However, it's a little more difficult to get excited about paying the taxes on a boat that we DO NOT own; a boat that we will never ride in.
The letter came to our correct home address with Jeff's name on the envelope. When Jeff called the tax office yesterday, they simply told us that the NC Wildlife department had informed them that we had registered a boat. Hm.....So, we called the Wildlife department and talked with Lisa. She pulled up all the boat owners with my husband's name in NC. There were three in the entire state, but only one other (besides my Jeff) in the city where we make our home. As we already knew, it was NOT our address.
We called the tax department back and since then have gotten the familiar bureaucratic run around about this matter. It's a good thing that the employees in this tax office do not actually run for their offices. The one we were dealing with would be out on her head!
As condescendingly simple as she could be, she told Jeff that she realized no one likes to pay taxes, but if you buy a boat you have to be willing to pay the taxes on it. There was no need for him to make an issue about this, she crooned. When Jeff pressed the issue about NOT owning the boat, she put her hard, professional voice back on and referred him to her supervisor, which has alluded our calls so far.
I'm thinking that someone made a mistake and is not willing to own up to it for one reason or another. It's simply ridiculous. There are no documents in existence anywhere that will connect us with the ownership of a boat. But it looks like there will be much energy expended on proving this to an office that already has all the records to prove this. They have the other man's name, address, see the differences in my husband's driver's license number and the real boat owner's, but it's still not clicking with them.
Is this the kind of frustration that started the Boston Tea Party?
21 September 2006
Talking, Laughing, Working, Playing, and Loving: The Anti-Drug
Even the world, the media, and organizations who say they exist to protect kids have seen the light. Advertisements are splatted all over the tv screen lately about how to talk to your kids about drugs, how to spend time with your kids to deter drug use, and how to detect the signs of drug use.
My oldest daughter is 23, the middle daughter is 20, and our youngest is 16. With all of them, we raised them in the belief that if they had a life packed full of good stuff, it would leave them less time to plunder into the bad stuff. Though I admire those parents who place an extremely high value on academics above all else, that would not have flown with my girls. Average students in the book, they are well-adjusted, well-rounded, and social creatures that love variety in their life. Such is the way with missionary kids. Once one, they could never be satisfied either to stay in one place very long or be stuck in one mode of activity for an extended period of time.
Fine arts, sports, community service, working to pay car insurance (yes, we are one of those "mean" parents), spending time with friends (that were instinctively judged a positive influence by my motherly gifts of "just knowing"), and allowing them to slowly, but surely spread their wings and broaden their horizons. Call us proactive parents and we accept that classification without apology.
Despite the world's philosophy and conjecture that kids have sense and perception about life beyond what their parent's realize (i.e. any Disney show or other family-oriented program that portrays the parent's role as an idiot, unsure of his role - and raises the intelligence and control of the child to spectacularly dangerous proportions). I despise those programs, but they have permeated not only our airways, but into our homes. Everyday I watch as parents of even extremely small children give their sacred duty and calling away to an biologically immature, egocentric child that simply is not ready to make rash, consistent decisions on their own behalf.
It is God-ordained that we purposely teach our children right from wrong and take our proper place in the forefront of their lives. I don't have time here to go through the issues that arise as a child grows older and more adamant about what he/she wants. Giving them freedom comes along with the package of teaching them to be discerning, accountable, and committed to follow God's Word.
Our daughters haven't always wanted to follow our lead, but let's just say that I was way too stubborn to give it up prematurely. Sometimes we won't be popular with them, sometimes we feel that we are being misunderstood, but time is a healer.....and so it is in this world of raising children. Inside the world of rules and limits is a security not found for a child anywhere else in this world. If you don't believe me, look around at the messed up children and dip your head into their world. Most likely, I will bank that you will find no perimeters and no respect for parents that are either too busy, too unwilling to put up the "good" fight, and desiring only that they be their children's friend. A lethal combination.
When kids do drugs, it is basically for one of two reasons and the second one stands throughout. Peer pressure pushes kids into volatile situations, doing things they would never have thought possible. But the premier reason is unfulfillment in who they are. Simply put, parents, we are not doing our job into teaching them, loving them, laughing with them, spending time with them enough to help them develop into the people God created them to be. Money, things, cars, fancy clothes, and such are NOT a substitute for a drive on a country road, hot chocolate by the fireplace, a listening ear when they are scared or just experiencing some of the shallow, but important (to them) situations of childhood. Time. Spending time. Listening. Teaching them responsibility and a pride in a job well done. Telling them they are worth something, showing them how to prove it to society. Teaching them that it's not all about them, but that giving to others is the essence of real joy.
It's our privilege as parents to walk with our children through this thing called life -- and then one day, when it's time and they are really ready, watch them flap those wings and fly! It's an invigorating, bittersweet time, but it's exactly right. But until then, talk....laugh.....play.....love them!
My oldest daughter is 23, the middle daughter is 20, and our youngest is 16. With all of them, we raised them in the belief that if they had a life packed full of good stuff, it would leave them less time to plunder into the bad stuff. Though I admire those parents who place an extremely high value on academics above all else, that would not have flown with my girls. Average students in the book, they are well-adjusted, well-rounded, and social creatures that love variety in their life. Such is the way with missionary kids. Once one, they could never be satisfied either to stay in one place very long or be stuck in one mode of activity for an extended period of time.
Fine arts, sports, community service, working to pay car insurance (yes, we are one of those "mean" parents), spending time with friends (that were instinctively judged a positive influence by my motherly gifts of "just knowing"), and allowing them to slowly, but surely spread their wings and broaden their horizons. Call us proactive parents and we accept that classification without apology.
Despite the world's philosophy and conjecture that kids have sense and perception about life beyond what their parent's realize (i.e. any Disney show or other family-oriented program that portrays the parent's role as an idiot, unsure of his role - and raises the intelligence and control of the child to spectacularly dangerous proportions). I despise those programs, but they have permeated not only our airways, but into our homes. Everyday I watch as parents of even extremely small children give their sacred duty and calling away to an biologically immature, egocentric child that simply is not ready to make rash, consistent decisions on their own behalf.
It is God-ordained that we purposely teach our children right from wrong and take our proper place in the forefront of their lives. I don't have time here to go through the issues that arise as a child grows older and more adamant about what he/she wants. Giving them freedom comes along with the package of teaching them to be discerning, accountable, and committed to follow God's Word.
Our daughters haven't always wanted to follow our lead, but let's just say that I was way too stubborn to give it up prematurely. Sometimes we won't be popular with them, sometimes we feel that we are being misunderstood, but time is a healer.....and so it is in this world of raising children. Inside the world of rules and limits is a security not found for a child anywhere else in this world. If you don't believe me, look around at the messed up children and dip your head into their world. Most likely, I will bank that you will find no perimeters and no respect for parents that are either too busy, too unwilling to put up the "good" fight, and desiring only that they be their children's friend. A lethal combination.
When kids do drugs, it is basically for one of two reasons and the second one stands throughout. Peer pressure pushes kids into volatile situations, doing things they would never have thought possible. But the premier reason is unfulfillment in who they are. Simply put, parents, we are not doing our job into teaching them, loving them, laughing with them, spending time with them enough to help them develop into the people God created them to be. Money, things, cars, fancy clothes, and such are NOT a substitute for a drive on a country road, hot chocolate by the fireplace, a listening ear when they are scared or just experiencing some of the shallow, but important (to them) situations of childhood. Time. Spending time. Listening. Teaching them responsibility and a pride in a job well done. Telling them they are worth something, showing them how to prove it to society. Teaching them that it's not all about them, but that giving to others is the essence of real joy.
It's our privilege as parents to walk with our children through this thing called life -- and then one day, when it's time and they are really ready, watch them flap those wings and fly! It's an invigorating, bittersweet time, but it's exactly right. But until then, talk....laugh.....play.....love them!
16 September 2006
Huffing, Puffing, and Dusting
Everyone in this town is high, read the t-shirt that I saw in a store in the town of Red Lodge, Montana, which snuggles next to the 11,000 feet high Beartooth Mountains. It was a quaint little town, perfect for just rambling about for an hour or so. We stretched our legs as we gazed into store windows and enjoyed a simple fare of egg salad sandwiches and soup at the oldest restaurant in town. It's one of those memories bookmarked in my mind for a long time.
I thought the saying on the t-shirt funny at the time; however, after reading an email that I received this morning, it takes on a more serious note. "Dusting" is a new way for younger teens to get high; albeit, the high, from what I've read, is only for a few seconds. An article recently released for MSNBC has some specific and sobering facts about this dangerous new way to obtain that "Wizard of Oz" high that kids seem to be looking for. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8714725/
The following is from an email that I recently received. This is a documented story and true from all accounts that I could find.
Subject: FW: : Dust Off -First IM going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor . He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they won't.I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my 2 sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.On March 1st I left for work at 10 PM. At 11 PM my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 AM the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was sitting up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 Am.I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said no.Kyle's deathKyle was wrong. It's not just compresses air. It also contains a propellant. I think its R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas.-Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.It's easy to say hay, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They know about it.April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I died and went to Hell.
Another serious abuse of easy-to-obtain chemicals is "huffing". This is a somewhat older term for the inhaling of substances like glue, paints, polishes, fuels, deodorizers, and any kind of aerosol sprays. The most sobering fact that I read was that nearly 22% of those who die from the huffing are first time users. If it does not kill a child, it will damage organs and cripple brain function. http://www.drgreene.com/21_180.html
With both "dusting" and "huffing" there is literally no margin for error. The damage is done almost immediately. I have read of accounts where kids actually died as they were inhaling the substance. Severe permanent damage can occur at each individual inhaling session. It's a lose-lose situation for any kid that explores this option of temporal euphoria.
Parents need to be proactive, creative, intuitive, and intuned with their children. We need to present alternative activities (i.e. spending quality time) for our children. A hike, a ballgame, shopping together, traveling together, and other things (done as a family unit) that can literally give children the high they are looking for. Love is the ultimate high in its truest, God-given form.
To me, this huge abuse of dangerous substances is a cry for attention from those they love. I will, most likely, continue this train of thought in a day or two. It's that important.....
I thought the saying on the t-shirt funny at the time; however, after reading an email that I received this morning, it takes on a more serious note. "Dusting" is a new way for younger teens to get high; albeit, the high, from what I've read, is only for a few seconds. An article recently released for MSNBC has some specific and sobering facts about this dangerous new way to obtain that "Wizard of Oz" high that kids seem to be looking for. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8714725/
The following is from an email that I recently received. This is a documented story and true from all accounts that I could find.
Subject: FW: : Dust Off -First IM going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor . He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they won't.I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my 2 sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.On March 1st I left for work at 10 PM. At 11 PM my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 AM the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was sitting up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 Am.I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said no.Kyle's deathKyle was wrong. It's not just compresses air. It also contains a propellant. I think its R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas.-Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.It's easy to say hay, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They know about it.April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I died and went to Hell.
Another serious abuse of easy-to-obtain chemicals is "huffing". This is a somewhat older term for the inhaling of substances like glue, paints, polishes, fuels, deodorizers, and any kind of aerosol sprays. The most sobering fact that I read was that nearly 22% of those who die from the huffing are first time users. If it does not kill a child, it will damage organs and cripple brain function. http://www.drgreene.com/21_180.html
With both "dusting" and "huffing" there is literally no margin for error. The damage is done almost immediately. I have read of accounts where kids actually died as they were inhaling the substance. Severe permanent damage can occur at each individual inhaling session. It's a lose-lose situation for any kid that explores this option of temporal euphoria.
Parents need to be proactive, creative, intuitive, and intuned with their children. We need to present alternative activities (i.e. spending quality time) for our children. A hike, a ballgame, shopping together, traveling together, and other things (done as a family unit) that can literally give children the high they are looking for. Love is the ultimate high in its truest, God-given form.
To me, this huge abuse of dangerous substances is a cry for attention from those they love. I will, most likely, continue this train of thought in a day or two. It's that important.....
12 September 2006
For the Love of Time
I heard an interesting little blip on a Christian radio station the other day. It has stuck with me for some reason. The DJ was talking about the gas prices in our area and discussing where we could find some of the cheapest prices. He said that in his neighborhood there were two gas stations right across the street from each other.
However, one of the stations was selling gas for 11 cents cheaper than its across-the-street competitor. Even thinking as he pulled into the station with the cheaper price, what was the catch? He soon found out.
It took him about 9 minutes to pump a half tank of gas. The tanks were so slow for some reason. Then he made this comment: "My time is really important. Next time I think I will just pay the 11 cents extra so that I can get on with my day!"
This way of thinking that is unfortunately prevalent in our society is what is killing us financially. The price of almost everything has gone up drastically because companies and businesses know that it is no longer money that we are saving -- it is TIME.
So it has come to that. Our American society is under the bondage of time! Anything that saves time must be worth it. Now, I'm not saying that I do not like to save time or that I'm not running behind some days. But my dollar is still very precious to me and personally, I would have paid for the cheaper gas and took the extra 9 minutes.
But, I realize, that I am probably in the minority these days.
However, one of the stations was selling gas for 11 cents cheaper than its across-the-street competitor. Even thinking as he pulled into the station with the cheaper price, what was the catch? He soon found out.
It took him about 9 minutes to pump a half tank of gas. The tanks were so slow for some reason. Then he made this comment: "My time is really important. Next time I think I will just pay the 11 cents extra so that I can get on with my day!"
This way of thinking that is unfortunately prevalent in our society is what is killing us financially. The price of almost everything has gone up drastically because companies and businesses know that it is no longer money that we are saving -- it is TIME.
So it has come to that. Our American society is under the bondage of time! Anything that saves time must be worth it. Now, I'm not saying that I do not like to save time or that I'm not running behind some days. But my dollar is still very precious to me and personally, I would have paid for the cheaper gas and took the extra 9 minutes.
But, I realize, that I am probably in the minority these days.
17 August 2006
Reaching Through the Phone Line
If you have read the previous blog about "The First and the Last", you'll know that we are walking through the almost unexplainable time of having a new licensed driver in our family -- our baby girl is driving, alone, and even though it's the last one for us, in some ways, it seems the hardest.
The evening of last Friday, Lauren was invited to a birthday party of a friend very close to where she had gotten her license earlier that day. Well, she really believed and had me practically convinced that she could find her way back to the same road. Jeff was a harder sell - he has had a very hard time with Lauren driving for one reason or another - and it took some convincing on her part to get him to agree. We drew a map, he interrogated her through the turns, and she gave all the right answers on where to turn.
However, as most of us know that has lived a little or a lot of life, talking through something is indeed very different than actually doing it. Lauren drove off after promising to call us if she had any questions -- or when she arrived at her friend's house. Jeff and I sat quietly staring at each other, sitting in the same room, sharing the same experience, but both thinking our different, but similar thoughts about what this meant to us.
If you've never experienced the "sending off" of a child - alone - for the first time after they get their license, you can't imagine the feeling. And, as savvy as I usually am with words, I can't even begin to describe the feeling. It's a feeling of losing control, helplessness, terror, and a keen sense of knowing that things will never be the same in your family. Now, let me encourage you, and say that these feelings dull in time, and the new "normal" in your family gradually becomes less painful and stressful, and more adjustable and doable. In essence, what you have done is handed your child another piece of his/her wings. And believe me, they will put that piece to work! As we hold on to his/her freedom by only handing out the wings piece by piece, your child will become ingenious and creative in making a small piece of a wing do amazing and sometimes foolish things in his/her efforts to have another taste of freedom. It's the struggle of the ages.
To make a very long, painful story short, Lauren never made it to the party. She crossed over the road that she was to turn right on and drove another almost 20 miles into a nearby small town in another county. Evidently, there was no sense of direction or time (i.e. I don't remember going this way OR I should be there by now) and that's to be expected with some kids. It's very hard not to judge one child by the skills or lack of skills of another child. If you've had one child that has a good sense of direction, then you naturally want to expect the same from another. However, it doesn't work that way.
We talked to her every five minutes or so, and it was obvious that she was adamant in redeeming herself from this mistake of missing her turn. (Ah, she's so much like her mom on this one! How many miles have I've driven to find my way back if I got lost) But, even though we weren't exactly sure where she was, we had an idea, and it was making us nervous. Jeff, with much anxiety in his voice told her to find a well-lit place and stop. Not to drive anymore. We made her find a road sign and number so we would know where to find her. When we mapquested the address, we realized that she was mere miles from one of the roughest areas of our city. All the news clips that I had heard about the west side of town were replying in my head during this time.
This is where I wish that there was invented the ability to literally reach through the phone lines and hold this child of mine. Though she never indicated on the phone that she was afraid, she had to be. It took us a good 40 minutes to reach her and it was almost dark by then. There at a dimly lit Philipps 66 station teeming with "creatures of the night" was the little Mazda with our beautiful red-headed daughter with her seat laying back all the way. I restrained myself from running and holding her and blubbering and fussing and fuming and crying.....all the things that I wanted to do. I just knocked gently on the window so I would not startle her and smiled at her gently.
Her dad got in her car and rode back to the house with her. Though I can imagine that he talked to her of many things, the greatest lesson she learned that evening was through experience.
And, thus the killer. As our kids get older, our words may resound in their ears at times, but when those words are combined with experience, that is when they really learn of life.
Needless to say, we're back to her driving to school, church, the mall, and in the general vicinity of our home. Living a little more experientially now, Lauren's okay with that. :)
The evening of last Friday, Lauren was invited to a birthday party of a friend very close to where she had gotten her license earlier that day. Well, she really believed and had me practically convinced that she could find her way back to the same road. Jeff was a harder sell - he has had a very hard time with Lauren driving for one reason or another - and it took some convincing on her part to get him to agree. We drew a map, he interrogated her through the turns, and she gave all the right answers on where to turn.
However, as most of us know that has lived a little or a lot of life, talking through something is indeed very different than actually doing it. Lauren drove off after promising to call us if she had any questions -- or when she arrived at her friend's house. Jeff and I sat quietly staring at each other, sitting in the same room, sharing the same experience, but both thinking our different, but similar thoughts about what this meant to us.
If you've never experienced the "sending off" of a child - alone - for the first time after they get their license, you can't imagine the feeling. And, as savvy as I usually am with words, I can't even begin to describe the feeling. It's a feeling of losing control, helplessness, terror, and a keen sense of knowing that things will never be the same in your family. Now, let me encourage you, and say that these feelings dull in time, and the new "normal" in your family gradually becomes less painful and stressful, and more adjustable and doable. In essence, what you have done is handed your child another piece of his/her wings. And believe me, they will put that piece to work! As we hold on to his/her freedom by only handing out the wings piece by piece, your child will become ingenious and creative in making a small piece of a wing do amazing and sometimes foolish things in his/her efforts to have another taste of freedom. It's the struggle of the ages.
To make a very long, painful story short, Lauren never made it to the party. She crossed over the road that she was to turn right on and drove another almost 20 miles into a nearby small town in another county. Evidently, there was no sense of direction or time (i.e. I don't remember going this way OR I should be there by now) and that's to be expected with some kids. It's very hard not to judge one child by the skills or lack of skills of another child. If you've had one child that has a good sense of direction, then you naturally want to expect the same from another. However, it doesn't work that way.
We talked to her every five minutes or so, and it was obvious that she was adamant in redeeming herself from this mistake of missing her turn. (Ah, she's so much like her mom on this one! How many miles have I've driven to find my way back if I got lost) But, even though we weren't exactly sure where she was, we had an idea, and it was making us nervous. Jeff, with much anxiety in his voice told her to find a well-lit place and stop. Not to drive anymore. We made her find a road sign and number so we would know where to find her. When we mapquested the address, we realized that she was mere miles from one of the roughest areas of our city. All the news clips that I had heard about the west side of town were replying in my head during this time.
This is where I wish that there was invented the ability to literally reach through the phone lines and hold this child of mine. Though she never indicated on the phone that she was afraid, she had to be. It took us a good 40 minutes to reach her and it was almost dark by then. There at a dimly lit Philipps 66 station teeming with "creatures of the night" was the little Mazda with our beautiful red-headed daughter with her seat laying back all the way. I restrained myself from running and holding her and blubbering and fussing and fuming and crying.....all the things that I wanted to do. I just knocked gently on the window so I would not startle her and smiled at her gently.
Her dad got in her car and rode back to the house with her. Though I can imagine that he talked to her of many things, the greatest lesson she learned that evening was through experience.
And, thus the killer. As our kids get older, our words may resound in their ears at times, but when those words are combined with experience, that is when they really learn of life.
Needless to say, we're back to her driving to school, church, the mall, and in the general vicinity of our home. Living a little more experientially now, Lauren's okay with that. :)
14 August 2006
A First and a Last
Well, Friday began a new era in my life. After 18 years, I do not have to drive any daughter anywhere. No early-morning school drives, no school play practices, no sports practices, no "nothing". Our youngest got her license on Friday.
It was with mixed emotions that I sat on the curb outside the DMV three days ago (because it was so crowded inside the building, I had been waiting outside). Lauren came out with a uniformed lady with a pad in her hand and talking congenially with my little girl. How dare her be the one to give my youngest her freedom! How dare her be the one that signs a form on her clipboard that says that she no longer needs me. I know, I know -- this is sappy and over reactive to the "ninth", but "firsts" and "lasts" do something to you.
As Lauren and the instructor drove out of the DMV parking lot, it was a strange sensation that hit me. In the same breath, I sighed as in relief and moaned in unrequited parenthood. Where did those 16 years go? Did I do a good job? Did I enjoy the time spent with Lauren and her two older sisters in the car - driving them to who-knows-where as I should have? Absolutely not. I remember times that I thought, "Just one more mile." "Just one more child to haul around" And now this. But I also remember the talks, the easy silence, the smiles, the stroke of the hair, the singing together, and just "being together".
Regret and relief all wrapped up tightly into this ironic cosmos of reality. That part of parenting is done. Why were there tears welling up in my eyes as I was also thinking blissfully of sleepy mornings, waking up slowly, holding a cup of coffee, and writing my book, as Lauren and Stef (in college now) drive themselves to their parts of the world?
'Cause if there's a "first" there's usually a "last" -- and with those two conflicting emotions come the dilemma. Do I soak in the sorrow of childhoods gone by or revel in the new freedom that this gives me as a woman, wife, mother of more mature daughters, friend, author, teacher, mentor, and speaker?
Hmmm.....I think I'm talking myself into liking this.
I'll concentrate on the "firsts" that has come to all of us!!!
It was with mixed emotions that I sat on the curb outside the DMV three days ago (because it was so crowded inside the building, I had been waiting outside). Lauren came out with a uniformed lady with a pad in her hand and talking congenially with my little girl. How dare her be the one to give my youngest her freedom! How dare her be the one that signs a form on her clipboard that says that she no longer needs me. I know, I know -- this is sappy and over reactive to the "ninth", but "firsts" and "lasts" do something to you.
As Lauren and the instructor drove out of the DMV parking lot, it was a strange sensation that hit me. In the same breath, I sighed as in relief and moaned in unrequited parenthood. Where did those 16 years go? Did I do a good job? Did I enjoy the time spent with Lauren and her two older sisters in the car - driving them to who-knows-where as I should have? Absolutely not. I remember times that I thought, "Just one more mile." "Just one more child to haul around" And now this. But I also remember the talks, the easy silence, the smiles, the stroke of the hair, the singing together, and just "being together".
Regret and relief all wrapped up tightly into this ironic cosmos of reality. That part of parenting is done. Why were there tears welling up in my eyes as I was also thinking blissfully of sleepy mornings, waking up slowly, holding a cup of coffee, and writing my book, as Lauren and Stef (in college now) drive themselves to their parts of the world?
'Cause if there's a "first" there's usually a "last" -- and with those two conflicting emotions come the dilemma. Do I soak in the sorrow of childhoods gone by or revel in the new freedom that this gives me as a woman, wife, mother of more mature daughters, friend, author, teacher, mentor, and speaker?
Hmmm.....I think I'm talking myself into liking this.
I'll concentrate on the "firsts" that has come to all of us!!!
08 August 2006
Playing Catch Up
Well, my intentions were good; however, "free wireless internet access" in all hotels does NOT necessarily mean that you can really use it. For the rest of the week of our trip west, either I simply could not access the "free" access or there was no time to do so. Several nights, we pulled into our hotel after 11:00 p.m.
Put into summary, we did 2900 miles in less than seven days. You can imagine the riding that entailed! But it was an amazing, memorable trip. Thought I would just post a few pics from the trip before I started any updates to my very "tilted world" right now. (You know how it is when you come back to your "real" world and it's all waiting for you!)
The week after vacation, we spent five days in a conference in Des Moines. Even though the conference was valid and interesting, it paled in comparison to the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, and the South Dakota Badlands. We are already longing to make that trek again with some definite side stops that were not available to us this time.
The three generations that made the trip (my husband's parents, my husband and I, and two of our daughters) fared incredibly well together. There was great respect on everyone's part, giving greater consideration to the older generations and their preferences. It was a pleasure to experience everyone's reactions to some of the famous and not so-famous icons and scenery that we saw on this trip.
"Bubbi" was our special friend on the trip. Because there were fou
r females on this trip, it's a given that a Ford Expedition, though large and spacious, would not be able to hold all of the luggage we brought along. UHaul rented us the perfect solution. Bubbi was faithful, unassuming, and efficient for all our needs!
When we dropped him off, we felt like we were saying goodbye to a very dear friend.
When the world stops tilting so much (sure....) I do hope to document this trip in a more precise manner.
Until then, if you've never done a trip outwest, it's definitely a trip worth taking!
Put into summary, we did 2900 miles in less than seven days. You can imagine the riding that entailed! But it was an amazing, memorable trip. Thought I would just post a few pics from the trip before I started any updates to my very "tilted world" right now. (You know how it is when you come back to your "real" world and it's all waiting for you!)
The week after vacation, we spent five days in a conference in Des Moines. Even though the conference was valid and interesting, it paled in comparison to the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, and the South Dakota Badlands. We are already longing to make that trek again with some definite side stops that were not available to us this time.
The three generations that made the trip (my husband's parents, my husband and I, and two of our daughters) fared incredibly well together. There was great respect on everyone's part, giving greater consideration to the older generations and their preferences. It was a pleasure to experience everyone's reactions to some of the famous and not so-famous icons and scenery that we saw on this trip.
"Bubbi" was our special friend on the trip. Because there were fou
r females on this trip, it's a given that a Ford Expedition, though large and spacious, would not be able to hold all of the luggage we brought along. UHaul rented us the perfect solution. Bubbi was faithful, unassuming, and efficient for all our needs!When we dropped him off, we felt like we were saying goodbye to a very dear friend.
When the world stops tilting so much (sure....) I do hope to document this trip in a more precise manner.
Until then, if you've never done a trip outwest, it's definitely a trip worth taking!
25 July 2006
Hitting the "Wall"
Monday was a spectacular day; one written about in books but very rarely experienced by us. After waking up in Omaha with our "Jetson-looking" trailer behind us, we headed north to Sioux City and then turned west on I-90. Pop had bought juices, waters, peanuts, chips, a cooler, and ice for the trip. As we traveled west, the external thermometer nudged closer and closer to 100 degrees, but inside the Expedition, the air was very cold. There were blankets, sweaters, and sweatshirts being swapped around in the back. Sleeping, chatting, aweing over the breathtaking scenery, and cutting jokes were just part of the day.
Our first stop was a visitor center/rest area where the ladies there gave us the scoop on the best things to experience and see in SD. We got back in the car with at least 10 pounds of brochures and pamphlets of things waiting ahead of us. About 200 miles later we stopped in the medium-sized town of Mitchell, SD. There we saw the Corn Palace, a time-rendered tribute to the bountiful corn crop in that area. And believe me, there is plenty of corn in this area! Part of the outside and the murals inside the building are completed made of corn, different colors of corn and straw, hay, and grasses from the SD plains. Magnificent!
The rest of the afternoon we spent traveling. We were heading towards the Badlands. Because I'm a reader, I have heard much about the Badlands of South Dakota. I have pictures to publish which really won't convey everything, but the rest of the party is ready to get on the road, so I have to cut this short.
As we came out of our astounding ride through part of the Badlands, we came upon the charming little town named Wall. By then we were all exhausted (in a good way) and famished. The Red River Cafe promised interesting and vital nourishment, so the four girls all went in to the restaurant as Pop and Jeff went looking for a room for the night. They got the last two in town! How is that for planning? After a great meal with some very friendly people (maybe South Dakota people are so friendly because of the "south" part? I don't think so), we headed to our Econo Lodge and literally "hit the wall".
Wall, SD has been 7 years without much-needed rain. As a matter of fact, they are in drought status. So, as we were falling into our slumber, we all whispered a prayer for some refreshing rain to fall on this great little town......and this morning, we see that God answered those prayers. It rained during the night!
This morning we are heading to Mount Rushmore and shopping in the Black Hills, then we're heading north for a very short corner trek into North Dakota before heading west again into Montana.
Stay with us.....it's been magical so far! And the three generations are having a great time learning, loving, and laughing with each other!
Our first stop was a visitor center/rest area where the ladies there gave us the scoop on the best things to experience and see in SD. We got back in the car with at least 10 pounds of brochures and pamphlets of things waiting ahead of us. About 200 miles later we stopped in the medium-sized town of Mitchell, SD. There we saw the Corn Palace, a time-rendered tribute to the bountiful corn crop in that area. And believe me, there is plenty of corn in this area! Part of the outside and the murals inside the building are completed made of corn, different colors of corn and straw, hay, and grasses from the SD plains. Magnificent!
The rest of the afternoon we spent traveling. We were heading towards the Badlands. Because I'm a reader, I have heard much about the Badlands of South Dakota. I have pictures to publish which really won't convey everything, but the rest of the party is ready to get on the road, so I have to cut this short.
As we came out of our astounding ride through part of the Badlands, we came upon the charming little town named Wall. By then we were all exhausted (in a good way) and famished. The Red River Cafe promised interesting and vital nourishment, so the four girls all went in to the restaurant as Pop and Jeff went looking for a room for the night. They got the last two in town! How is that for planning? After a great meal with some very friendly people (maybe South Dakota people are so friendly because of the "south" part? I don't think so), we headed to our Econo Lodge and literally "hit the wall".
Wall, SD has been 7 years without much-needed rain. As a matter of fact, they are in drought status. So, as we were falling into our slumber, we all whispered a prayer for some refreshing rain to fall on this great little town......and this morning, we see that God answered those prayers. It rained during the night!
This morning we are heading to Mount Rushmore and shopping in the Black Hills, then we're heading north for a very short corner trek into North Dakota before heading west again into Montana.
Stay with us.....it's been magical so far! And the three generations are having a great time learning, loving, and laughing with each other!
24 July 2006
Waking up in Omaha - Day 1
For the next week, I'll be journaling about a unique trip that I have the privilege to take with my husband, his parents, and two of our daughters. It's unique in that we have three generations traveling together, seeing sites that none of us have ever seen, and working with one end of the generational spectrum and the other.
For instance, we arrived in Des Moines, Iowa, yesterday afternoon by airplane. We had rented as large a SUV that Hertz had there in Des Moines. Still for six people and all the luggage plus a small canvas car top carrier, we still were packed in pretty tight. We decided that we would need a trailer to pull behind the Expedition in order to free up the "living" space inside the vehicle.
So we decided to drive from Des Moines to Omaha, just to get a few miles behind us. Pop (Jeff's father) thought we should try to eat at a Omaha steakhouse, but as I used the GPS navigational tool on my phone (what WILL they think of next?), it was discovered that all of the restaurants I was able to get up with would be closing around 9:00 p.m. We would be at least that time arriving in the suburbs of Omaha......which is what happened.
However, providentially we ended up stopping at a Cracker Barrel at Exit 3 in Council Bluffs (a city of its own right beside Omaha -- even though those of us who do not know better would call it a suburb of Omaha) Wouldn't you know? There was a 24-hour Walmart at the exit, and yes, even a U-haul store across the street! So, we settled in at a Fairfield right beside the Cracker Barrel and all "died" for the night. It had been a long first traveling day.
At 7:00 a.m. this morning my husband came into the room, bright-eyed and bushy-tail, so-to-speak, with coffee and a promise that we would be leaving as soon as he returned with our little trailer from the U-haul. So, now comes the delicate dance of the generations. My father-in-law, I'm certain, has been up for at least a couple of hours now. On the other hand, my two daughters (age 19 and 16) were still snug in their beds at 7:30. This is where my husband and I have to bridge the gap between the two extreme generations. It should be an interesting ride.
Our girls think it's really great that they can travel with their grandparents, but I don't think the significance of this trip will really hit them until a few years down the road. It's good stuff. We are excited for the day.
The night before we left, I stayed up until 3:30 a.m. finding interesting tidbits about states and little towns along our way. I have folders full of stuff -- just in case. I believe that Mount Rushmore is on the agenda today, but that could change. It's the time-honored privilege of the older generation that the plans can change at any moment.
So we're ready for anything!
Well, girls are finally up and looking somewhat awake. One's in the shower and one's fixing her hair. My husband has yet to return, but when he does, he'll be relieved to know that we're ready and excited for the day!
Stay tuned.....
For instance, we arrived in Des Moines, Iowa, yesterday afternoon by airplane. We had rented as large a SUV that Hertz had there in Des Moines. Still for six people and all the luggage plus a small canvas car top carrier, we still were packed in pretty tight. We decided that we would need a trailer to pull behind the Expedition in order to free up the "living" space inside the vehicle.
So we decided to drive from Des Moines to Omaha, just to get a few miles behind us. Pop (Jeff's father) thought we should try to eat at a Omaha steakhouse, but as I used the GPS navigational tool on my phone (what WILL they think of next?), it was discovered that all of the restaurants I was able to get up with would be closing around 9:00 p.m. We would be at least that time arriving in the suburbs of Omaha......which is what happened.
However, providentially we ended up stopping at a Cracker Barrel at Exit 3 in Council Bluffs (a city of its own right beside Omaha -- even though those of us who do not know better would call it a suburb of Omaha) Wouldn't you know? There was a 24-hour Walmart at the exit, and yes, even a U-haul store across the street! So, we settled in at a Fairfield right beside the Cracker Barrel and all "died" for the night. It had been a long first traveling day.
At 7:00 a.m. this morning my husband came into the room, bright-eyed and bushy-tail, so-to-speak, with coffee and a promise that we would be leaving as soon as he returned with our little trailer from the U-haul. So, now comes the delicate dance of the generations. My father-in-law, I'm certain, has been up for at least a couple of hours now. On the other hand, my two daughters (age 19 and 16) were still snug in their beds at 7:30. This is where my husband and I have to bridge the gap between the two extreme generations. It should be an interesting ride.
Our girls think it's really great that they can travel with their grandparents, but I don't think the significance of this trip will really hit them until a few years down the road. It's good stuff. We are excited for the day.
The night before we left, I stayed up until 3:30 a.m. finding interesting tidbits about states and little towns along our way. I have folders full of stuff -- just in case. I believe that Mount Rushmore is on the agenda today, but that could change. It's the time-honored privilege of the older generation that the plans can change at any moment.
So we're ready for anything!
Well, girls are finally up and looking somewhat awake. One's in the shower and one's fixing her hair. My husband has yet to return, but when he does, he'll be relieved to know that we're ready and excited for the day!
Stay tuned.....
12 July 2006
When Heroes Act Human
Surprise...surprise. We are all human -- and time, pressure, fatigue, or ill-willed words spoken to us always proves it.
Zinedane Zidane is a national hero in France. As one of the most renown "football" (soccer) players certainly in that country, and perhaps even in the world, he is credited for being the primary catalyst of France gaining their footing and being able to find themselves in Berlin this past Sunday for the World Cup final. He had some great plays; he simply showed up in a big way.
Even if you didn't watch the game (4 billion all over the world did), unless you're a recluse or haven't watched a snippet of news this week, you have heard about the head butt. As a matter of fact, just this morning there was an article informing us that several gaming companies have made, are making, or will make a game that derides and misaligns the incident for the sake of entertainment -- and of course, let's don't forget "cash flow" for these companies. One simple game already on the internet allows you to simply use keys on your keyboard to help Zidane head butt as many Italian players as possible. Okay, that's enough sensationalism for one day, don't you think? All for the might $!
Even though he has apologized, gotten penalized, and all that, it remains that human heroes just can't match up to our expectations in the end, IF we expect them to be god-like. There is only one true God -- and He's the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Zinedane Zidane is a national hero in France. As one of the most renown "football" (soccer) players certainly in that country, and perhaps even in the world, he is credited for being the primary catalyst of France gaining their footing and being able to find themselves in Berlin this past Sunday for the World Cup final. He had some great plays; he simply showed up in a big way.
Even if you didn't watch the game (4 billion all over the world did), unless you're a recluse or haven't watched a snippet of news this week, you have heard about the head butt. As a matter of fact, just this morning there was an article informing us that several gaming companies have made, are making, or will make a game that derides and misaligns the incident for the sake of entertainment -- and of course, let's don't forget "cash flow" for these companies. One simple game already on the internet allows you to simply use keys on your keyboard to help Zidane head butt as many Italian players as possible. Okay, that's enough sensationalism for one day, don't you think? All for the might $!
Even though he has apologized, gotten penalized, and all that, it remains that human heroes just can't match up to our expectations in the end, IF we expect them to be god-like. There is only one true God -- and He's the same yesterday, today, and forever.
06 July 2006
Loud and Clear
It's a rainy Thursday morning in the south, and I'm preparing myself for a busy five days in a row. Coffee's good, silence is good, and the cleaning and cooking will wait.
Some things just speak for themselves and it is some of those that I would like to put before you today. (If anyone knows how to add a link without actually putting the link in the text itself, I have been trying but do not know how to do it - could use some help!)
WORLD CUP - Hey, I've been really good for the past week! I was able to watch three games in a row that had to go to the 15 min-15 min. overtime and then, when still tied, there has to be 5 penalty kick shootout. I have never seen that on the big stage before! It was exhilarating! It's hard to believe that it can come down to a striker and a keeper to define the winner of a game, but that's the way it is!
FRANCE AND ITALY will play on Sunday for the coveted (but rather unattractive, if I might add) World Cup. In the end, it comes down to these two; however, they certainly are not the only impressive teams there were. My hats go off to Argentina, Ghana, Ukraine, Germany, and Portugal (who my gut really wanted to pull for because of Figo coming out of retirement to play and that Portugal has never won the World Cup). Thanks to all of them for giving us quality playing in their own unique styles!************************************************************************************
About a week ago, BBC ran an article of a rather bizarre nature. The rebel soldiers in Ivory Coast agreed to lay down their arms (for the 5th time in three years) IF the government would agree to pay them back-pay wages since the war started. I had to read it a couple of times to really believe the article was saying that. They started the war almost 4 years ago, but they want back-pay from the government that they have been fighting against. Okay...
....http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/5133770.stm
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As if Somalia doesn't have enough troubles with famine, disease, and extreme poverty struggles, citizens of this country was banned from watching the World Cup. When a group in a small town defied these orders, a truck with extreme Islam militants drove by and opened fire. The owner of the cinema and a little girl were killed.....why? For liking football in southern Somalia. This have anything to do with the fact that Somalia has had no effective government in almost 15 years. Anarchy at its finest.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/5153800.stm
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*********************************************************************************I like Pepsi just the way it is. Evidently someone at Coke saw a money-making opportunity and stole federal trade secrets from the Atlanta-based Coke offices. And the people at Pepsi did the right thing and sent the documents they received to the FBI. But did they peek first? I would like to think they did not. Having two very similar products out on the market that suddenly became almost identical would be a death knell for one of them. They know that.
Random thought: have you ever did a taste test to see if you can tell the difference between the two. My husband did not believe that I could tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke yea
rs ago, but I definitely passed the test.http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202235,00.html
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Ken Lay is dead. I will admit that I found the Enron story rather boring and didn't follow it as closely as some. But, if you've read much of my blog or know me at all, I am always trying to fit puzzles together in human nature and its reaction to certain elements.
Was Ken Lay stressed? For how long? Enough to kill him? Hm......
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202251,00.html
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Guess that's enough for today. I'm in the middle of reading the DaVinci Code. I found a copy for $4 - and decided to buy it. I'm almost halfway through it. Hm.......
04 July 2006
The All-American Dog and All-American Nano Flag
It's hot outside just like a July 4th in the south should be. I have been to Sam's
to buy fruit for our family cookout starting around 5:00. Just taking the groceries out
to the car and then into the house worked up quite a sweat!
So, while I'm awaiting the start of something not-so-American, the first semi-final game
of the World Cup between Italy and Germany, I thought I would surf around the web and
see what some others are up to on this historical day in our country.
Since most everyone knows, that has lived in this country very long, the hotdog (or its cousin the bratwurst - though there may be some that flinch from that comparison) is pretty much the American standard food of baseball games, summer cookouts, or the companion to Kraft macaroni and cheese for a quick evening meal (though me, the health nut, has not served that kind of meal in many years).
In Coney Island, where some people say that hotdogs were "born" - there's a contest today to see who can eat the most hotdogs in 12 minutes. For five years straight, believe it or not, a Japanese fellow has held the record! Anyway, this year there is a young American man who is determined to dethrone the Japanese and rightfully take back what should be American dominated. See the whole story here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,201928,00.htmlA Nano American Flag? Some Texas graduate students have made a flag that is 10-times smaller than a strand of human hair. Why? I don't know. Intriguing though.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202023,00.html
If you are feeling nostalgic about today and Independence Day and all that, check this website out. There are quizzes, facts, and trivia all about July 4th. If you're feeling lazy like me today, it would be a good pasttime. http://theholidayspot.com/july4/quiz.htm
If you're feeling extremely patriotic, find a parade, watch the fireworks, enjoy a swim, spend time with friends and family. Whatever you do, don't forget to "remember" what it's all about today. This is our country.........be proud and be brave!
30 June 2006
Battle of the Titans - World Cup Style
It has happened just as World Cup lovers dream! Argentine vs. Germany. Two international powerhouses playing each other. Each team playing its own unique style of "football". There has been 120 minutes of play (90 regulation and 30 minutes overtime) and penalty kicks (5 for each team) have been kicked. Germany has done it - penalty kicks masterfully blocked by Germany's tired, but amazingly skilled keeper. In the 63rd minute or so, Argentina's incredible goalkeeper was severely injured. He was taken off the field and the backup keeper was brought in.
This is never a good scenario and certainly did nothing for Argentina. The backup keeper just did not have the passion and momentum as did their no. 1 GK. (Having a daughter who is a phenomenal keeper in high school, I was feeling strongly the goalkeepers pressure. Wow! What instinct the German GK had! And that's what it took!) He was able to block not just one, but two penalty kicks to clinch the win. Argentina's less experienced goalkeeper substitute never had a chance against the kicks by German strikers who nailed the ball into the net every time. It was a win well deserved. And they did it in front of their own fans -- at home. Though the Germans have not been one of my favorites in this World Cup, today they have certainly won my utmost respect.
There's frustration, tears, anger, and disappointment on the Argentine side; but the Germans? I just know they are waiting for England......
Is there enough security in the country of Germany to hold the lid on that kind of matchup?
Italy took Ukraine down 3-0. Not a huge surprise, though you have to tip your hat at the Ukraine team. Playing in the quarterfinals of the World Cup is an honor that they should relish for a very long time.
Portugal meets England tommorrow morning; then in the afternon, France meets Brasil. No premature results here. Anything, I repeat, anything can happen.
26 June 2006
Deviation (from World Cup stuff)
This morning I thought that it would not be wise to do yet a third blog about World Cup soccer being played from June 9-July 9 in Germany. So, even as I am watching Australia and Italy play, and anticipating the Ghana-Brasil game tomorrow, I will not bore you with my sentiments....at least not today!
There's a couple of things I would like to address today. First, we saw our youngest daughter on Saturday. We were able to wrangle an hour of her time in a laundromat where she had come to wash off a week's worth of dirt and sweat! She is a counselor at a Christian camp in the North Carolina mountains this summer. Last summer she was also was at camp for five weeks, as a CIT (Counselor-in-Training). It was then that she realized that this was a ministry she wanted to do for God in her high school years (and perhaps also in her college years). Her very first week of being a counselor, she saw 4 of her campers come to know Christ. She called us that weekend to tell us about this and that she was really excited about what God was showing her.
If you are a parent and have ever had the privilege of knowing your children are hearing God talking personally to them.....you'll know that there are no words for it. I'm excited for Lauren and what God is showing her. She seemed very tired when we saw her Saturday, but that would be expected. As I sat down and watched her put the quarters in the washing machine herself and put her clothes in the machine herself -- I realized that she is growing up. She'll be 16 in a couple of weeks, and I'm proud of who she is and who she is becoming. Even though seven weeks is a long time to be without her, I am reminded once again that she is not really ours. Not first of all. She is God's first. If He has asked her to serve Him in this capacity this summer, then who am I to get in the way of God's plans? I am her mother, yes, but He is her Creator and Savior. How I'm proud of that girl!
Secondly, blogs. In the past couple of weeks, I have read much from bloggers writing about blogs, the intentions of blogs, the misuse of blogs, the addiction of blogging, and so on and so forth. It's disturbing to me, but on a far different level.
First of all, I realize that when I created my personal and ministry blogs that there was a part of me that truly thought people would care to know what I was thinking. That's pretty heady stuff and probably not as true as we would like to think. The intention of my ministry blog is to keep those interested updated in a more detailed way. Prayer letters must be somewhat concise and compact, and in a campus ministry such as we are involved, often many of the really good details must be forfeited. That was the intention of that particular blog.
As for this blog, I have honestly had to rethink why I am committed to it at all. I do not have a vendetta of some sort to air out here, I do not necessarily like to "stir up others" - as in the intention in many blogs that I have read, and I do not think it's necessary to give private, very personal details about myself. If others need to do that, then okay. For me, it's just to let others know the multi-layers that make up Me. The things that I find funny, disturbing, and amazing. As I am in the process of writing a book on our experiences as missionaries in West Africa for nearly 20 years, this blog gives me another avenue of creativity and "blowing out the cobwebs" - so to speak. Writers need motivation and exercise of their writing abilities. This is just a "workout" for me, so to speak.
The deeper issue I have with those who blog in lieu of developing personal, face-to-face relationships with others is this: it feeds the underlying problem of feeling isolated. While this may be a connection to the world in some strange way, that is certainly not how we are designed to interact on a day-to-day basis. We need people - and not just the words gleaned from a blogging comment section. Just a couple of days ago, I read an article that put definition to my concerns. While the article never addresses our advanced technology as a factor in the study that was sited, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it does figure greatly into the problem. Despite all the technology in the world and hundreds of ways to stay connected in some way, more and more of the world's population feels isolated and disconnected. The reason (in my opinion)? We replace those eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice relationships with static, distant cyber relationships. And, in the long run, they can never totally satisfy and complete us as a warm, caring face that we can see.
Anyway, this is just some simple thoughts I have on blogging. I think some people take this new, fandangled opportunity way too seriously and misalign the intentions of what a blog should really be. I don't believe it should be a place to antagonize, rant and rave (on a consistent basis), or feel that we now own a right to be a bonafide journalist, just because we press "publish post".
Though we can inform and educate about something important to us, blogging does not necessarily make us experts.
Enjoy blogging! Have fun with it! Let those who care about you already know a little more about your whims and wishes, likes and dislikes....but I don't think it should be a pulpit or podium, though it can always be a place for encouragement, friendly discussion, enlightening, and finding others who think in uninimity or not - with us!!
Enough deviation! Australia and Italy are still nil-nil at the 81st minute (which means there is only 9 more minutes in regulation play). Italy was favored to sweep this game, but, that's what makes soccer so exciting. Anything can happen in any given game! (Like Ghana, for instance!)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,200769,00.html
There's a couple of things I would like to address today. First, we saw our youngest daughter on Saturday. We were able to wrangle an hour of her time in a laundromat where she had come to wash off a week's worth of dirt and sweat! She is a counselor at a Christian camp in the North Carolina mountains this summer. Last summer she was also was at camp for five weeks, as a CIT (Counselor-in-Training). It was then that she realized that this was a ministry she wanted to do for God in her high school years (and perhaps also in her college years). Her very first week of being a counselor, she saw 4 of her campers come to know Christ. She called us that weekend to tell us about this and that she was really excited about what God was showing her.
If you are a parent and have ever had the privilege of knowing your children are hearing God talking personally to them.....you'll know that there are no words for it. I'm excited for Lauren and what God is showing her. She seemed very tired when we saw her Saturday, but that would be expected. As I sat down and watched her put the quarters in the washing machine herself and put her clothes in the machine herself -- I realized that she is growing up. She'll be 16 in a couple of weeks, and I'm proud of who she is and who she is becoming. Even though seven weeks is a long time to be without her, I am reminded once again that she is not really ours. Not first of all. She is God's first. If He has asked her to serve Him in this capacity this summer, then who am I to get in the way of God's plans? I am her mother, yes, but He is her Creator and Savior. How I'm proud of that girl!
Secondly, blogs. In the past couple of weeks, I have read much from bloggers writing about blogs, the intentions of blogs, the misuse of blogs, the addiction of blogging, and so on and so forth. It's disturbing to me, but on a far different level.
First of all, I realize that when I created my personal and ministry blogs that there was a part of me that truly thought people would care to know what I was thinking. That's pretty heady stuff and probably not as true as we would like to think. The intention of my ministry blog is to keep those interested updated in a more detailed way. Prayer letters must be somewhat concise and compact, and in a campus ministry such as we are involved, often many of the really good details must be forfeited. That was the intention of that particular blog.
As for this blog, I have honestly had to rethink why I am committed to it at all. I do not have a vendetta of some sort to air out here, I do not necessarily like to "stir up others" - as in the intention in many blogs that I have read, and I do not think it's necessary to give private, very personal details about myself. If others need to do that, then okay. For me, it's just to let others know the multi-layers that make up Me. The things that I find funny, disturbing, and amazing. As I am in the process of writing a book on our experiences as missionaries in West Africa for nearly 20 years, this blog gives me another avenue of creativity and "blowing out the cobwebs" - so to speak. Writers need motivation and exercise of their writing abilities. This is just a "workout" for me, so to speak.
The deeper issue I have with those who blog in lieu of developing personal, face-to-face relationships with others is this: it feeds the underlying problem of feeling isolated. While this may be a connection to the world in some strange way, that is certainly not how we are designed to interact on a day-to-day basis. We need people - and not just the words gleaned from a blogging comment section. Just a couple of days ago, I read an article that put definition to my concerns. While the article never addresses our advanced technology as a factor in the study that was sited, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it does figure greatly into the problem. Despite all the technology in the world and hundreds of ways to stay connected in some way, more and more of the world's population feels isolated and disconnected. The reason (in my opinion)? We replace those eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice relationships with static, distant cyber relationships. And, in the long run, they can never totally satisfy and complete us as a warm, caring face that we can see.
Anyway, this is just some simple thoughts I have on blogging. I think some people take this new, fandangled opportunity way too seriously and misalign the intentions of what a blog should really be. I don't believe it should be a place to antagonize, rant and rave (on a consistent basis), or feel that we now own a right to be a bonafide journalist, just because we press "publish post".
Though we can inform and educate about something important to us, blogging does not necessarily make us experts.
Enjoy blogging! Have fun with it! Let those who care about you already know a little more about your whims and wishes, likes and dislikes....but I don't think it should be a pulpit or podium, though it can always be a place for encouragement, friendly discussion, enlightening, and finding others who think in uninimity or not - with us!!
Enough deviation! Australia and Italy are still nil-nil at the 81st minute (which means there is only 9 more minutes in regulation play). Italy was favored to sweep this game, but, that's what makes soccer so exciting. Anything can happen in any given game! (Like Ghana, for instance!)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,200769,00.html
22 June 2006
Still An African At Heart
Yes, I'm still talking soccer. Yes, the World Cup is still going on. It takes four weeks to meticulously move 32 teams down to 2 - then finally to THE ONE - on July 9th. It's good stuff.
The game today between the USA and Ghana was a hard one for me. I am a born American and proud of it! However, since 1983, I have either lived in West Africa or have been closely tied with two countries there. (We have actually lived in Liberia and Ivory Coast for a total of 10 years - and that includes being in the middle of two civil wars in both of those countries) One of our daughters was born in Liberia. Some of the greatest people I know live there. Saying all that, when Ghana took USA down 2-1, I cried. On one part, it was sadness for the US, though I have felt no particular affinity with this soccer team. They simply have not showed themselves World Cup contenders. They just didn't have the "gusto" that it takes to play "football" with the rest of the world. But Ghana did!
Now, Ghana.....commentators on ESPN are calling them a surprise. Well, they didn't ask me. I said it from day one when they played Italy and only lost 1-0. There was something in their eyes, a rhythm to their team that bore watching. But I'm not sure if other Americans caught it. I imagine they didn't want to see it. I tired of the commentators not giving Ghana the critique that they were due. It was all about how US was fast and sharp and this other stuff. Meanwhile, Ghana dominated the passing, possession, and scoring. Hm....
It basically takes an African to play football with another African. A European team nor a North American team will have a hard time taking Ghana down. However, South American teams have some of the same kind of rhythm in their play. Brasil possibly could do it next Tuesday, but Ghana will not lie down for one second. It will be a match made in heaven, to coin a phrase.
They are an incredibly organized team with precise speed and extraordinary passing ability. And, of course, if you have known any West Africans, they do have the gift of flair, drama, and charisma. You just gotta love them! And, Kingston, their keeper, was amazing. He was fearless and intimidating. Having a daughter that is a keeper for her high school team, I always watch closely the talents of the goalie. Kingston is a "keeper" - a pun was intended!
So, pull up a chair, and watch with me as this Ghanian team makes world history by moving into the second round. In the privacy of my living room, I was dancing the dance that most West African women dance when they are celebrating anything, particularly a birth of a baby.
This victory for Ghana and the advance to the next round is definitely a birth of something big for West Africa!! Don't let them catch you by surprise -- you have been warned!!
16 June 2006
More Than a Game
This afternoon my heart is heavy for my African friends in Ivory Coast. As a few of you may have noticed, I have not written in this blog since 8th of June. The World Cup (the best of the best in soccer - known as futbol or football by the rest of the world) started on June 9th, and every spare moment I have had, I have spent watching some of those games.
After having lived in Africa off and on since 1985, we have become very familar with soccer and what it really means to the countries around the world. Someone wisely said that a soccer match is not just "life or death" to a team, to a country; it's much, much more than that. To you Americans reading this, that statement may sound extreme as well it probably is, but the fact still stands that there is a majority of countries in the world that eat, drink, live, and dream soccer! Most likely if you think of soccer, you think of Brasil, and rightly so. They are a dominant force in the international world of soccer. But there are others, and a World Cup year (played every four years) puts on the world stage the best of the best.
You may or may not know that we lived five years in the country of Ivory Coast. We know what soccer means there. This is their first showing in the World Cup, along with Togo, Ghana, and a couple of others. The Ivorian Les Elephants by far, for the first-timers, have had the best showing, the most stamina, the strongest persistence in the face of formidable opponents. Placed in the bracket known as "The Death Zone", they held their own, showed their incredible talent, and won over the hearts of those who watched them. Playing two of the toughest teams in the World Cup: Argentina and Holland would possibly had caused a weaker team to "tuck tail" and retreat. But not the Ivorians.
Facing these two amazingly talented and complex teams is nothing compared to what they and their countrymen have endured in the past four years in their country. Civil war took this stable, productive West African country completely by surprise in September of 2002, and it has and never will be the same. We were there at the beginning of the demise. Trapped in a guest house in the capital city of Abidjan for ten days. Even then our hearts ached for what these people would have to face. We had seen it all before in Liberia.
So, for the Ivorian soccer team to be able to play big on the World Cup fields in Germany this summer has been a boost to people who are war-fatigued, discouraged, distressed, and who have lost hope in the foundation that was once solid underneath them. Not to mention that the soccer team consisted of players from both the south and north parts of the country, bringing a strange kind of unity to a country viciously divided by political, tribal, and religious obstacles.
When the whistle blew at the end of the game today against Holland, even while wiping tears from my eyes, I cringed at the thought of the fighting that will possibly start back up again tomorrow. Or will the two sides decided to watch the rest of the World Cup (not to finish until July 9)? Will they restrain themselves in order to cheer on their African counterparts: Angola, Togo, and Ghana?
Just today on BBC it was sited that the segment of militia that was due yesterday to meet at a neutral camp and turn in their arms did not show. Not a one of them. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize why they did not show. It's World Cup time and their Elephants were playing today. And, believe it or not, that is more important than fighting a war.
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