We own a boat - a nice 18 foot boat. At least that is what our city-county tax office is telling us.
Last week we received an official letter from the tax office that we needed to pay the taxes on the boat that we purchases this year. Now, we don't like taxes anymore than anyone else, but we do pay what we owe. However, it's a little more difficult to get excited about paying the taxes on a boat that we DO NOT own; a boat that we will never ride in.
The letter came to our correct home address with Jeff's name on the envelope. When Jeff called the tax office yesterday, they simply told us that the NC Wildlife department had informed them that we had registered a boat. Hm.....So, we called the Wildlife department and talked with Lisa. She pulled up all the boat owners with my husband's name in NC. There were three in the entire state, but only one other (besides my Jeff) in the city where we make our home. As we already knew, it was NOT our address.
We called the tax department back and since then have gotten the familiar bureaucratic run around about this matter. It's a good thing that the employees in this tax office do not actually run for their offices. The one we were dealing with would be out on her head!
As condescendingly simple as she could be, she told Jeff that she realized no one likes to pay taxes, but if you buy a boat you have to be willing to pay the taxes on it. There was no need for him to make an issue about this, she crooned. When Jeff pressed the issue about NOT owning the boat, she put her hard, professional voice back on and referred him to her supervisor, which has alluded our calls so far.
I'm thinking that someone made a mistake and is not willing to own up to it for one reason or another. It's simply ridiculous. There are no documents in existence anywhere that will connect us with the ownership of a boat. But it looks like there will be much energy expended on proving this to an office that already has all the records to prove this. They have the other man's name, address, see the differences in my husband's driver's license number and the real boat owner's, but it's still not clicking with them.
Is this the kind of frustration that started the Boston Tea Party?
26 September 2006
21 September 2006
Talking, Laughing, Working, Playing, and Loving: The Anti-Drug
Even the world, the media, and organizations who say they exist to protect kids have seen the light. Advertisements are splatted all over the tv screen lately about how to talk to your kids about drugs, how to spend time with your kids to deter drug use, and how to detect the signs of drug use.
My oldest daughter is 23, the middle daughter is 20, and our youngest is 16. With all of them, we raised them in the belief that if they had a life packed full of good stuff, it would leave them less time to plunder into the bad stuff. Though I admire those parents who place an extremely high value on academics above all else, that would not have flown with my girls. Average students in the book, they are well-adjusted, well-rounded, and social creatures that love variety in their life. Such is the way with missionary kids. Once one, they could never be satisfied either to stay in one place very long or be stuck in one mode of activity for an extended period of time.
Fine arts, sports, community service, working to pay car insurance (yes, we are one of those "mean" parents), spending time with friends (that were instinctively judged a positive influence by my motherly gifts of "just knowing"), and allowing them to slowly, but surely spread their wings and broaden their horizons. Call us proactive parents and we accept that classification without apology.
Despite the world's philosophy and conjecture that kids have sense and perception about life beyond what their parent's realize (i.e. any Disney show or other family-oriented program that portrays the parent's role as an idiot, unsure of his role - and raises the intelligence and control of the child to spectacularly dangerous proportions). I despise those programs, but they have permeated not only our airways, but into our homes. Everyday I watch as parents of even extremely small children give their sacred duty and calling away to an biologically immature, egocentric child that simply is not ready to make rash, consistent decisions on their own behalf.
It is God-ordained that we purposely teach our children right from wrong and take our proper place in the forefront of their lives. I don't have time here to go through the issues that arise as a child grows older and more adamant about what he/she wants. Giving them freedom comes along with the package of teaching them to be discerning, accountable, and committed to follow God's Word.
Our daughters haven't always wanted to follow our lead, but let's just say that I was way too stubborn to give it up prematurely. Sometimes we won't be popular with them, sometimes we feel that we are being misunderstood, but time is a healer.....and so it is in this world of raising children. Inside the world of rules and limits is a security not found for a child anywhere else in this world. If you don't believe me, look around at the messed up children and dip your head into their world. Most likely, I will bank that you will find no perimeters and no respect for parents that are either too busy, too unwilling to put up the "good" fight, and desiring only that they be their children's friend. A lethal combination.
When kids do drugs, it is basically for one of two reasons and the second one stands throughout. Peer pressure pushes kids into volatile situations, doing things they would never have thought possible. But the premier reason is unfulfillment in who they are. Simply put, parents, we are not doing our job into teaching them, loving them, laughing with them, spending time with them enough to help them develop into the people God created them to be. Money, things, cars, fancy clothes, and such are NOT a substitute for a drive on a country road, hot chocolate by the fireplace, a listening ear when they are scared or just experiencing some of the shallow, but important (to them) situations of childhood. Time. Spending time. Listening. Teaching them responsibility and a pride in a job well done. Telling them they are worth something, showing them how to prove it to society. Teaching them that it's not all about them, but that giving to others is the essence of real joy.
It's our privilege as parents to walk with our children through this thing called life -- and then one day, when it's time and they are really ready, watch them flap those wings and fly! It's an invigorating, bittersweet time, but it's exactly right. But until then, talk....laugh.....play.....love them!
My oldest daughter is 23, the middle daughter is 20, and our youngest is 16. With all of them, we raised them in the belief that if they had a life packed full of good stuff, it would leave them less time to plunder into the bad stuff. Though I admire those parents who place an extremely high value on academics above all else, that would not have flown with my girls. Average students in the book, they are well-adjusted, well-rounded, and social creatures that love variety in their life. Such is the way with missionary kids. Once one, they could never be satisfied either to stay in one place very long or be stuck in one mode of activity for an extended period of time.
Fine arts, sports, community service, working to pay car insurance (yes, we are one of those "mean" parents), spending time with friends (that were instinctively judged a positive influence by my motherly gifts of "just knowing"), and allowing them to slowly, but surely spread their wings and broaden their horizons. Call us proactive parents and we accept that classification without apology.
Despite the world's philosophy and conjecture that kids have sense and perception about life beyond what their parent's realize (i.e. any Disney show or other family-oriented program that portrays the parent's role as an idiot, unsure of his role - and raises the intelligence and control of the child to spectacularly dangerous proportions). I despise those programs, but they have permeated not only our airways, but into our homes. Everyday I watch as parents of even extremely small children give their sacred duty and calling away to an biologically immature, egocentric child that simply is not ready to make rash, consistent decisions on their own behalf.
It is God-ordained that we purposely teach our children right from wrong and take our proper place in the forefront of their lives. I don't have time here to go through the issues that arise as a child grows older and more adamant about what he/she wants. Giving them freedom comes along with the package of teaching them to be discerning, accountable, and committed to follow God's Word.
Our daughters haven't always wanted to follow our lead, but let's just say that I was way too stubborn to give it up prematurely. Sometimes we won't be popular with them, sometimes we feel that we are being misunderstood, but time is a healer.....and so it is in this world of raising children. Inside the world of rules and limits is a security not found for a child anywhere else in this world. If you don't believe me, look around at the messed up children and dip your head into their world. Most likely, I will bank that you will find no perimeters and no respect for parents that are either too busy, too unwilling to put up the "good" fight, and desiring only that they be their children's friend. A lethal combination.
When kids do drugs, it is basically for one of two reasons and the second one stands throughout. Peer pressure pushes kids into volatile situations, doing things they would never have thought possible. But the premier reason is unfulfillment in who they are. Simply put, parents, we are not doing our job into teaching them, loving them, laughing with them, spending time with them enough to help them develop into the people God created them to be. Money, things, cars, fancy clothes, and such are NOT a substitute for a drive on a country road, hot chocolate by the fireplace, a listening ear when they are scared or just experiencing some of the shallow, but important (to them) situations of childhood. Time. Spending time. Listening. Teaching them responsibility and a pride in a job well done. Telling them they are worth something, showing them how to prove it to society. Teaching them that it's not all about them, but that giving to others is the essence of real joy.
It's our privilege as parents to walk with our children through this thing called life -- and then one day, when it's time and they are really ready, watch them flap those wings and fly! It's an invigorating, bittersweet time, but it's exactly right. But until then, talk....laugh.....play.....love them!
16 September 2006
Huffing, Puffing, and Dusting
Everyone in this town is high, read the t-shirt that I saw in a store in the town of Red Lodge, Montana, which snuggles next to the 11,000 feet high Beartooth Mountains. It was a quaint little town, perfect for just rambling about for an hour or so. We stretched our legs as we gazed into store windows and enjoyed a simple fare of egg salad sandwiches and soup at the oldest restaurant in town. It's one of those memories bookmarked in my mind for a long time.
I thought the saying on the t-shirt funny at the time; however, after reading an email that I received this morning, it takes on a more serious note. "Dusting" is a new way for younger teens to get high; albeit, the high, from what I've read, is only for a few seconds. An article recently released for MSNBC has some specific and sobering facts about this dangerous new way to obtain that "Wizard of Oz" high that kids seem to be looking for. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8714725/
The following is from an email that I recently received. This is a documented story and true from all accounts that I could find.
Subject: FW: : Dust Off -First IM going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor . He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they won't.I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my 2 sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.On March 1st I left for work at 10 PM. At 11 PM my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 AM the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was sitting up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 Am.I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said no.Kyle's deathKyle was wrong. It's not just compresses air. It also contains a propellant. I think its R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas.-Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.It's easy to say hay, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They know about it.April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I died and went to Hell.
Another serious abuse of easy-to-obtain chemicals is "huffing". This is a somewhat older term for the inhaling of substances like glue, paints, polishes, fuels, deodorizers, and any kind of aerosol sprays. The most sobering fact that I read was that nearly 22% of those who die from the huffing are first time users. If it does not kill a child, it will damage organs and cripple brain function. http://www.drgreene.com/21_180.html
With both "dusting" and "huffing" there is literally no margin for error. The damage is done almost immediately. I have read of accounts where kids actually died as they were inhaling the substance. Severe permanent damage can occur at each individual inhaling session. It's a lose-lose situation for any kid that explores this option of temporal euphoria.
Parents need to be proactive, creative, intuitive, and intuned with their children. We need to present alternative activities (i.e. spending quality time) for our children. A hike, a ballgame, shopping together, traveling together, and other things (done as a family unit) that can literally give children the high they are looking for. Love is the ultimate high in its truest, God-given form.
To me, this huge abuse of dangerous substances is a cry for attention from those they love. I will, most likely, continue this train of thought in a day or two. It's that important.....
I thought the saying on the t-shirt funny at the time; however, after reading an email that I received this morning, it takes on a more serious note. "Dusting" is a new way for younger teens to get high; albeit, the high, from what I've read, is only for a few seconds. An article recently released for MSNBC has some specific and sobering facts about this dangerous new way to obtain that "Wizard of Oz" high that kids seem to be looking for. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8714725/
The following is from an email that I recently received. This is a documented story and true from all accounts that I could find.
Subject: FW: : Dust Off -First IM going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor . He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they won't.I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my 2 sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.On March 1st I left for work at 10 PM. At 11 PM my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 AM the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was sitting up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 Am.I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said no.Kyle's deathKyle was wrong. It's not just compresses air. It also contains a propellant. I think its R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas.-Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.It's easy to say hay, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They know about it.April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I died and went to Hell.
Another serious abuse of easy-to-obtain chemicals is "huffing". This is a somewhat older term for the inhaling of substances like glue, paints, polishes, fuels, deodorizers, and any kind of aerosol sprays. The most sobering fact that I read was that nearly 22% of those who die from the huffing are first time users. If it does not kill a child, it will damage organs and cripple brain function. http://www.drgreene.com/21_180.html
With both "dusting" and "huffing" there is literally no margin for error. The damage is done almost immediately. I have read of accounts where kids actually died as they were inhaling the substance. Severe permanent damage can occur at each individual inhaling session. It's a lose-lose situation for any kid that explores this option of temporal euphoria.
Parents need to be proactive, creative, intuitive, and intuned with their children. We need to present alternative activities (i.e. spending quality time) for our children. A hike, a ballgame, shopping together, traveling together, and other things (done as a family unit) that can literally give children the high they are looking for. Love is the ultimate high in its truest, God-given form.
To me, this huge abuse of dangerous substances is a cry for attention from those they love. I will, most likely, continue this train of thought in a day or two. It's that important.....
12 September 2006
For the Love of Time
I heard an interesting little blip on a Christian radio station the other day. It has stuck with me for some reason. The DJ was talking about the gas prices in our area and discussing where we could find some of the cheapest prices. He said that in his neighborhood there were two gas stations right across the street from each other.
However, one of the stations was selling gas for 11 cents cheaper than its across-the-street competitor. Even thinking as he pulled into the station with the cheaper price, what was the catch? He soon found out.
It took him about 9 minutes to pump a half tank of gas. The tanks were so slow for some reason. Then he made this comment: "My time is really important. Next time I think I will just pay the 11 cents extra so that I can get on with my day!"
This way of thinking that is unfortunately prevalent in our society is what is killing us financially. The price of almost everything has gone up drastically because companies and businesses know that it is no longer money that we are saving -- it is TIME.
So it has come to that. Our American society is under the bondage of time! Anything that saves time must be worth it. Now, I'm not saying that I do not like to save time or that I'm not running behind some days. But my dollar is still very precious to me and personally, I would have paid for the cheaper gas and took the extra 9 minutes.
But, I realize, that I am probably in the minority these days.
However, one of the stations was selling gas for 11 cents cheaper than its across-the-street competitor. Even thinking as he pulled into the station with the cheaper price, what was the catch? He soon found out.
It took him about 9 minutes to pump a half tank of gas. The tanks were so slow for some reason. Then he made this comment: "My time is really important. Next time I think I will just pay the 11 cents extra so that I can get on with my day!"
This way of thinking that is unfortunately prevalent in our society is what is killing us financially. The price of almost everything has gone up drastically because companies and businesses know that it is no longer money that we are saving -- it is TIME.
So it has come to that. Our American society is under the bondage of time! Anything that saves time must be worth it. Now, I'm not saying that I do not like to save time or that I'm not running behind some days. But my dollar is still very precious to me and personally, I would have paid for the cheaper gas and took the extra 9 minutes.
But, I realize, that I am probably in the minority these days.
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