That's exactly how my dad is "choosing" to deal with this amputation of his last good leg. For several years now, he has had to be prudent and careful about any sore that would pop up on the foot or leg. About a month ago, this last rogue sore came up between two of his toes....and so it has come to this.
Though I know he was a little anxious and knows that it's going to not be an easy road physically or mentally, he does has peace that it is what God has for him. Somehow we all have to accept the fact that God KNOWS dad will bring more glory to Him THIS WAY than in the healing of his foot from the infection. There was not a doubt in my mind or heart that God could not have healed his foot - even overnight if He had chosen. I have seen divine, unexplained healing, especially in the life of my brother's when he struggled 27 years with a terminal kidney disease. So that's not the problem.
The problem is that this is not just a physical setback for my dad, but the resulting days, weeks, and months, will also be a struggle for my mom and me. With a full life and ministry, I will admit to you that I have wondered what will have to change in my life in order for me to be in "the right place" at the right time. Being an "only child" now (my brother went to heaven 8 years ago), I feel the acute responsibility and honor of that. There is not a bone in my body that doesn't want to care for my parents; however, they are not quite at the age of needing an tremendous amount of care yet. So, it is a dance of finding the right place, the right time, the right way to bless them - especially at this time.
He has been in surgery for almost an honor and my heart is just so full. God's peace and grace has been amazing - as it always is! But knowing things are changing as I write this is a little bit overwhelming, if I allow myself to think about it too much. It is another mountain to climb, but I am old enough to know that the most beautiful scenery is from the highest mountains. So, with God's help....I am up for the climb.
1 comment:
Words seem so shallow at a time like this. Hurting for our precious loved ones and for the "new beginnings" they and we will be facing is a daunting task. Even though you have the head knowledge that all is going to be OK, it is so much harder to live out the reality of this new adjustment. The peace and strength that you need is now available, my friend...thankfully the Lord is going to let His mercy pour over your heart and lift you heavenward. Love you Kim, we are praying.
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